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number of hours people spent on social media per day as well reason of using social media

number of hours people spent on social media per day as well reason of using social media kg718
the Line graph illustrates the number of hours people spent on different Social media everyday, over the six years period from 2010 to 2016 and the pie Chart shows the reason of using these social medias. Overall, the number of hours spent regularly on social medias and the usage reason percentage show inverse relationship. The total number of hours spent on Snapchat, LinkedIn and Instagram increased over the mentioned period, while in terms of Facebook the usage hours slightly decreased. However, for communication Facebook is mostly used and for shopping, playing games and watching videos rest of the percentage used Instagram, LinkedIn and snapchat respectively. With regards to the hours spent on social media per day, from the beginning Shap chat was in top (5h/day), Facebook was in second top (around 4. 5h/day) and Instagram was in third position (around 2. 3h/d), while LinkedIn was least popular with a usage amount of less than one hour per day. Over time, the hours for Snapchat and Instagram increased with sharp ups and down and in final year the usage became respectively 6h/day and around 4. 7 hour/day. Additionally, the hours per spent on LinkedIn increased gradually with slight fluctuations and used for more than one hour per day. Though Facebook usage hours gradually increased until 2014 but in last year it dropped to 4. 1h / day. However, 58 % people used Facebook for communication, while only 23% Instagram, 10% LinkedIn, 9% Snapchat for shopping, playing games and watching videos.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
the
Line graph illustrates the number of
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hours
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people
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spent
on
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different
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Social
media
'Everyday' is an adjective. Did you mean "every day"?
everyday
, over the six years period from 2010 to 2016 and the pie Chart
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shows
the reason of using these
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social
medias.

Overall
, the number of
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hours
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spent
regularly
on
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social
medias and the
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usage
reason percentage
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show
inverse relationship. The total number of
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hours
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spent
on Snapchat, LinkedIn and Instagram
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increased
over the mentioned period, while in terms of Facebook the
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usage
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hours
slightly
decreased.
However
, for communication Facebook is
mostly
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used
and for shopping, playing games and watching videos rest of the percentage
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used
Instagram, LinkedIn and
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snapchat
respectively
.

Use "in regard to", "with regard to", or more simply "regarding".
With regards to
the
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hours
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spent
on
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social
media per day, from the beginning
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Shap
chat was in top (5h/day), Facebook was in second top (around 4. 5h/day) and Instagram was in third position (around 2. 3h/d), while LinkedIn was least popular with a
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usage
amount of less than one
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hour
per day. Over time, the
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hours
for Snapchat and Instagram
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increased
with sharp ups and down and in final year the
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usage
became
respectively
6h/day and around 4. 7 hour/day.
Additionally
, the
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hours
per
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spent
on LinkedIn
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increased
gradually
with slight fluctuations and
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used
for more than one
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hour
per day. Though Facebook
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usage
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hours
gradually
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increased
until 2014
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but
in last year it dropped to 4. 1h / day.
However
, 58 %
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people
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used
Facebook for communication, while
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only
23% Instagram, 10% LinkedIn, 9% Snapchat for shopping, playing games and watching videos.
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IELTS academic number of hours people spent on social media per day as well reason of using social media

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
249 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
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  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
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    Present relevant ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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