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music percentage of sales

music percentage of sales 6KdLG
The graph illustrates total music sales by three different method namely, CDs, downloads and streams over the span of 8 years, Overall, it can be observed, streams are on a rise whereas CD's purchased took a dip. While downloads similar to CDs sees a downward trend. According to the line graph, the years 2011 to 2014 shows a gradual increase in streams of the 20%) whereas Purchase & CDs plunged from 35% to 35%. More over, it was observed that consumers prefer Streams in comparisons to CDs as they Show an upward trend and a fall respectively over the next four years (2015 - 2018) Furthermore, both the methods intersect at 30% in 2016. Downloads, on the other hand, shows a steady rise from 2014. -2014. It reached ta Zenith in mid 2013 and then stagnates over the four years (2014-2018). It reaches its nadir at around 30 % sales.
The graph illustrates total music sales by three
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
method
namely
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
CDs
, downloads and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
streams
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
over
the span of 8 years,
Overall
, it can
be observed
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
streams
are on a rise whereas
Consider using the plural form here: "CDs".
CD's
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchased
took a dip.
“While” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
While
downloads similar to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
CDs
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sees
a downward trend.

According to the line graph, the years 2011 to 2014
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
a gradual increase in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
streams
of the 20%
Unpaired symbol: '(' seems to be missing
)
whereas
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Purchase
&
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
CDs
plunged from 35% to 35%. More
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
over
, it
was observed
that consumers prefer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Streams
in comparisons to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
CDs
as
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
they


This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Show
an upward trend and a fall
respectively
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
over
the
next
four years (
Consider using an n-dash (half dash), if you want to indicate numerical ranges or time ranges.
2015 - 2018
)
Furthermore
, both the methods intersect at 30% in 2016.

Downloads,
on the other hand
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
a steady rise from 2014. -2014. It reached ta Zenith in mid 2013 and then stagnates
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
over
the four years (2014-2018). It reaches its nadir at around 30 % sales.
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IELTS academic music percentage of sales

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
150 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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