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Most Important Factors In Choosing a Mobile Phone

Most Important Factors In Choosing a Mobile Phone R2a3W
The graph demonstrates some information about the essential tips to select smartphone in different countries such as A and B places. Overall, it is clear that there are various tases in two countries in their choices it means price and design are most important for them than other factors, furthermore, friends recommendations have approximately same number in the both regions. Firstly, in the country A, there is a maximum number in price which is around 50 percent while friends’ recommendations have a moderate percentage that is about 33 percent. Moreover, other pieces of the chart show small averages. As a result, people tend to have expensive electrical devices. On the other hand, in the country b, its chart illustrates a high amount of percentage in design which is about 40 percent. However, there is an average number in the friends’ recommendations which is around 32 percent. Finally, other stages have a few measures than others. In other words, people tend to have a fashionable and beautiful mobile phone.
The graph demonstrates
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some
information about the essential tips to select smartphone in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
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countries
such as A and B places.
Overall
, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that there are various
Possible spelling mistake found.
tases
in two
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
in their choices it means price and design are most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for them than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
factors,
furthermore
, friends recommendations have approximately same number in the both regions.

Firstly
, in the
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country
A, there is a maximum number in price which is around 50
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percent
while friends’ recommendations have a moderate percentage
that is
about 33
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percent
.
Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
pieces of the chart
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
averages.
As a result
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
tend to have expensive electrical devices.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
b, its chart illustrates a high amount of percentage in design which is about 40
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percent
.
However
, there is an average number in the friends’ recommendations which is around 32
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percent
.
Finally
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
stages have a few measures than others. In
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
words,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
tend to have a fashionable and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
beautiful
mobile phone.
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IELTS academic Most Important Factors In Choosing a Mobile Phone

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
168 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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  • Meet the criteria
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