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More people are stressed today than ever before. What are the causes of this stress? What can be done to address this problem?

More people are stressed today than ever before. What are the causes of this stress? What can be done to address this problem? Ay81
The maps illustrates some variations in the layout of a park between 1980 and the present time. As it can be seen that the park consisted of two parts which was seperated by a path on the contrary, a barrier in the south has been got rid of and the number of roads increased as a consequence there are more ways and a crossroad right away. Enormous trees has been replaced by some decorative tiny trees and next to them there is a territory which is apropriate for having a picnic. The flowers located in the south does not exist anymore consequently, a number of bushes settle instead of them. In the south east of park, there is a terrain where is merely favorable for children to play football. Finally, the little lake still stay in its place while its land became smaller during this period on the other hand, the quantity of benchs surround the puddle was increased.
The maps
illustrates
some
variations in the layout of a park between 1980 and the present time.

As it can be
seen
that the park consisted of two parts which was
seperated
by a path
on the contrary
, a barrier in the south has been
got
rid of and the number of roads increased as a consequence there are more ways and a crossroad right away.

Enormous trees has
been replaced
by
some
decorative tiny trees and
next
to them there is a territory which is
apropriate
for having a picnic. The flowers located in the south does not exist
anymore
consequently
, a number of bushes settle
instead
of them. In the
south east
of park, there is a terrain where is
merely
favorable for children to play football.

Finally
, the
little
lake
still
stay in its place while its land became smaller during this period
on the other hand
, the quantity of
benchs
surround the puddle
was increased
.
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IELTS academic More people are stressed today than ever before. What are the causes of this stress? What can be done to address this problem?

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
159 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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