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Men an women's working factors

Men an women's working factors 5kAoQ
The observance of equality in many factors between men and women for an efficient society is undeniable. But in my view, the equal number of both genders in different programs is not logical and can harm a country's economy. Thus, I do not agree with the subject of equal numbers in universities programs. Universities have vital subjects to let students pursue their educations without any limitation. It can affect society with having potential and useful students who are interested to identify them in their fields. By setting limitations very many opportunities for active students will be damaged, because most of them cannot join their favorite program, and catching this position is so competitive. As a result, they have to stay for a year to apply for the next year, or inevitably they must choose another major for saving their time. In addition to this, many majors mostly have a specific volunteer, for example, in a country like Iran, programs such as mechanical and midwifery usually have men and woman male and female students respectively. This reason is because of their future work opportunities and raising money and at the end for moving the economic cycle. Therefore, if universities set equal numbers rule, they will take many people’s chance for their great future. Although this subject is a kind of equality between men and women, it can have irreparable effects on students. In conclusion, Equality between men and women is not always a useful solution, rather it can limit them from choosing their life decisions. and it is clear for the subject of equal numbers in universities programs. Good job. Read more samples to make sure you will be able to use better vocab while writing. Well done. also learn from the mistakes you have made.
The observance of equality in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
factors between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
and women for an efficient society is undeniable.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
in my view, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
equal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of both genders in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
programs
is not logical and can harm a country's economy.
Thus
, I do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subject
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
equal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
numbers
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
programs
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Universities
have vital
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
pursue their educations without any limitation. It can affect society with having potential and useful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
who
are interested
to identify them in their fields. By setting limitations
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
opportunities for active
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
will
be damaged
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
most of them cannot
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
join
their favorite
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
program
, and catching this position is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
competitive.
As a result
, they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
stay for a year to apply for the
next
year, or
inevitably
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
choose another major for saving their time.
In addition
to this,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
majors
mostly
have a specific volunteer,
for example
, in a country like Iran,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
programs
such as mechanical and midwifery
usually
have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
and woman male and female
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
respectively
. This reason is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of their future work opportunities and raising money and at the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
for moving the economic cycle.
Therefore
, if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
set
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
equal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
numbers
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rule
, they will take
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
’s chance for their great future. Although this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subject
is a kind of equality between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
and women, it can have irreparable effects on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
.
In conclusion
, Equality between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
and women is not always a useful solution,
rather
it can limit them from choosing their life decisions.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
and
it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subject
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
equal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
numbers
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
programs
.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Good
job. Read more samples to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
sure you will be able to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
better vocab while writing. Well done.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
also
learn from the mistakes you have made.
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IELTS academic Men an women's working factors

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
295 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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