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map of a town from 1985 and 2010

map of a town from 1985 and 2010 r1OGm
The map depicts the site of mining town in the past and after remake in current scenario. Looking from an overall prospective, the town less focused on industry which facilities were available in the past decade those are not till now While parking lot are remain same in both maps. In the past, mine entrance (for workers) there were two waste pit near by it. In addition, staff changing room and medical room for treatment of injuries respectively. Lorry and park were there where people can park lots of bikes and cars. In the present day, office are redesign into museums while mine entrance now built for tourism instead of workers. Furthermore, gardens change towards the entertainment things like cafe, picnic and driving truck track. Lorry parking space, footpath and children's playground where childrens can play outdoor games.
The map depicts the site of mining town in the past and after remake in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
scenario.

Looking from an
overall
prospective, the town less focused on industry which facilities were available in the past decade those are not till
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
While parking lot are
Consider using a past participle here: "remained".
remain
same in both maps.

In the past, mine entrance (for workers) there were two waste
Possible agreement error. The noun 'pit' seems to be countable, so consider using: "pits".
pit
Did you mean "nearby"?
near by
it.
In addition
, staff changing room and medical room for treatment of injuries
respectively
. Lorry and park were there where
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
can park lots of bikes and cars.

In the present day, office are redesign into museums while mine entrance
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
built for tourism
instead
of workers.
Furthermore
, gardens
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
towards the entertainment things like
'cafe' is an imported foreign expression, which originally has a diacritic. Consider using "café"
cafe
, picnic and driving truck
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
track
. Lorry parking space, footpath and children's playground where
Possible spelling mistake found.
childrens can
play outdoor games.
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IELTS academic map of a town from 1985 and 2010

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
138 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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