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number of tourists by season in Drover and Troy

number of tourists by season in Drover and Troy eRO1O
The graph shows that how numerous tourists spent time in the cities of Dover and Troy in difference seasons. The number of visitors have a trip to the two cities are mainly difference during each season. Numbers of tourists were steady increase in Dove through the four seasons. The bar chart shows that the fewest number at 5, 000 in spring and the number increase gradually reaching at 25, 000 in fall. Finally, the number jump at 25, 000 in the region between fall and winter. In Troy, on the other hand, mostly fell during the three quarters of the year. There were also the fewest number of visitors in spring which is under than 5, 000 and climb significantly which reach the peak at 22, 500 in summer. The tourists decrease slightly in fall, on the contrary, the number decline sharply to a low of 5, 000 in winter. Overall, the visitors preferred to visiting in two cities depending on the seasons. For Drover, most of the tourists traveled in winter. However, people are more interesting in summer and fall in Troy.
The graph
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shows
that how numerous
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tourists
spent time in the cities of Dover and Troy in difference seasons. The
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number
of visitors
Did you mean "has"?
have
a trip to the two cities are
mainly
difference during each season.

Numbers of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourists
were steady increase in Dove through the four seasons. The bar chart
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
that the fewest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
at 5, 000 in spring and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
increase
gradually
reaching at 25, 000 in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fall
.
Finally
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
jump at 25, 000 in the region between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fall
and winter.

In Troy,
on the other hand
,
mostly
fell during the three quarters of the year. There were
also
the fewest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of visitors in spring which is
Use "(under)" to make a comparison with this adjective.
under
than 5, 000 and climb
significantly
which reach the peak at 22, 500 in summer. The
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tourists
decrease
slightly
in
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fall
,
on the contrary
, the
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number
decline
sharply
to a low of 5, 000 in winter.

Overall
, the visitors preferred to visiting in two cities depending on the seasons. For Drover, most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourists
traveled in winter.
However
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are more interesting in summer and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fall
in Troy.
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IELTS academic number of tourists by season in Drover and Troy

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
183 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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