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Below are graphs of Vietnam's total fertility rate, and population 1955-2020. Do you think the population of Vietnam will rise or fall in the future? or Do you think the population of Vietnam will rise or fall in the future? What will the effects of a rising / falling population be?

Below are graphs of Vietnam's total fertility rate, and population 1955-2020. Do you think the population of Vietnam will rise or fall in the future? or Do you think the population of Vietnam will rise or fall in the future? What will the effects of a rising / falling population be? MoDEq
Based on the Vietnam population census from 1955 to 2020, the numbers decreased sharply between 1960 and 2000 and it barely increased until 2020. I think in the future the population of Vietnam will continue to decrease. Indeed, there are many reasons for the decrease in population. Firstly, the biggest reason is awareness when participating in traffic. According to many statistics, the number of deaths due to traffic accidents is alway high. Mostly due to drinking while driving or running a red light. Despite warnings and threats there are till a lot of people who do not care The second reason for population decline is disease. Most of Vietnamese suffer from respiratory diseases due to unhealthy habits such as smoking and drinking. and this is almost a habit that cannot be broken. For example, when you walk on the streets in big cities, you will see a lot of people smoking, even students. Another reason is the polluted air from factory or vehicles In Conclusion, those are two of the many reasons leading to the declining population. Lack of awareness when participating in traffic. Due to unhealthy habits and the air is polluted. Of course in the future, the population of Vietnam will fall if the problems are not fixed
Based on the Vietnam
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
census from 1955 to 2020, the numbers decreased
sharply
between 1960 and 2000 and it
barely
increased until 2020. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
in the future the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
of Vietnam will continue to decrease.

Indeed
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
for the decrease in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
.
Firstly
, the biggest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
is awareness when participating in traffic. According to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
statistics, the number of deaths
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
due
to traffic accidents is
Possible spelling mistake found.
alway
high.
Mostly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
due
to drinking while driving or running a red light. Despite warnings and threats there are till
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who do not
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
care


The second
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reason
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
decline is disease. Most of Vietnamese suffer from respiratory diseases
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
due
to unhealthy habits such as smoking and drinking.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
and
this is almost a habit that cannot
be broken
.
For example
, when you walk on the streets in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
cities, you will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
smoking, even students. Another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
is the polluted air from factory or vehicles

In Conclusion
, those are two of the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
leading to the declining
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
. Lack of awareness when participating in traffic.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Due
to unhealthy habits and the air
is polluted
.
Of course
in the future, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
of Vietnam will fall if the problems are not
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
fixed
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IELTS academic Below are graphs of Vietnam's total fertility rate, and population 1955-2020. Do you think the population of Vietnam will rise or fall in the future? or Do you think the population of Vietnam will rise or fall in the future? What will the effects of a rising / falling population be?

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
209 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
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Lexical Resource: 5.5
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Grammatical Range: 6.0
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  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
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    Present relevant ideas
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