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Many offenders commit more crimes after serving their first punishment. why is this happening and what measures can be taken to tackle this problem.

Many offenders commit more crimes after serving their first punishment. why is this happening and what measures can be taken to tackle this problem. bYEQ3
Crime rates see an upsurge in the graph even after having the defined punishment and law in place. Let us first consider the main reasons and then outline possible measures that can be taken. The main reason why criminals re-offend the crime. Firstly, somewhere or another law system is not strict. The lenient law system is the result of a low degree of punishment until and unless a crime is of heinous nature. For example, in India, the criminal is sentenced to jail merely for seven years for a serious crime like Murder. Adding to this, revenge could be another reason for criminals to commit crimes again. For instance, when a person complains about someone and a conviction happens, then there are chances that the offender will come back and take revenge. The time has come that the government takes this as a grave issue and builds a stringent law system to punish criminals. For serious crimes, there should be no punishment less than life imprisonment or capital punishment. Regarding offends which are of not so serious nature, criminals should be sent to a rehabilitation center and should only be out of it until it is confirmed that a person has now an improved being. In addition to the amendment in the rules of law, a trustworthy and non-corrupt system is of equal importance. Unless we have clean officials cycle of repeated crime cannot be stopped.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Crime
rates
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
an upsurge in the graph even after having the defined
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
law
in place.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Let
us
first
consider the main reasons and then outline possible measures that can
be taken
.

The main reason why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
re-offend the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
.
Firstly
, somewhere or another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
law
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
system
is not strict. The lenient
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
law
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
system
is the result of a low degree of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
until and unless a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
is of heinous nature.
For example
, in India, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminal
is sentenced
to jail
merely
for seven years for a serious
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
like Murder. Adding to this, revenge could be another reason for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
to commit
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
again.
For instance
, when a person complains about someone and a conviction happens, then there are chances that the offender will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
back and take revenge.

The time has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
that the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
takes this as a grave issue and builds a stringent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
law
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
system
to punish
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
. For serious
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
, there should be no
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
less than life imprisonment or capital
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
. Regarding offends which are of not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
serious nature,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sent
to a rehabilitation center and should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
be out of it until it
is confirmed
that a person has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
an
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
being.
In addition
to the amendment in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
law
, a trustworthy and non-corrupt
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
system
is of equal importance.
“Unless” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Unless
we have clean officials cycle of repeated
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
cannot be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stopped
.

IELTS academic Many offenders commit more crimes after serving their first punishment. why is this happening and what measures can be taken to tackle this problem.

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
236 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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