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making concrete for building purpose.

making concrete for building purpose. Ba69V
The diagram illustrate the steps and equipment’s that use to make cement and also, the process of making concrete for building purpose. Firstly, if we start with cement production there is several steps to make cement. So to start will the main ingredient is limestone and clay. therefore, limestone and clay will by crusher through a Machen and made powder. After powdering the limestone and clay it will mix by the mixer. Their mixer of limestone and clay straight away goes to the rotating heart. Secondly, the cylinder which is rotating on side of the cylinder there is a heater which heat the cylinder while it rotating. so the mixer of the powder grinder throw this machine and then use to make cement powder. After they made cement they use to make bags of cement. and goes to the market to sale. it is clear from the data in the diagram of the process of the cement production. As well as, the production of concrete also seems easy to make concrete they need cement 15 percent and water 10 percent and also sand 25 percent, gravel 50 percent. To gravel we have to use small stones. Then add all this to the concrete mixer and mix. so concrete machine is rotation so its easy to mix, After the mixer stopped we can find concrete. Overall, according to the two diagram is clear how to make cement and concrete of building purposes.
The diagram
Possible agreement error - use third-person verb forms for singular and mass nouns: "illustrates".
illustrate
the steps and equipment’s that
Make sure that 'use to' is correct. For habitual actions in the past or to mean 'accustomed to', use "used to".
use to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cement
and
also
, the process of making concrete for building purpose.

Firstly
, if we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cement
production
Did you mean "there are several steps"?
there is several steps
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cement
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
will the main ingredient is limestone and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
clay
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
therefore
, limestone and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
clay
will
Did you maybe mean "buy" or "be"?
by
crusher through a
Possible spelling mistake found.
Machen
and made powder. After powdering the limestone and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
clay
it will mix by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mixer
. Their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mixer
of limestone and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
clay
straight away goes to the rotating heart.

Secondly
, the cylinder which is rotating on side of the cylinder there is a heater which heat the cylinder while it rotating.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
so
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mixer
of the powder grinder throw this machine and then
Make sure that 'use to' is correct. For habitual actions in the past or to mean 'accustomed to', use "used to".
use to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cement
powder.
“After” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
After
they made
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cement
they
Make sure that 'use to' is correct. For habitual actions in the past or to mean 'accustomed to', use "used to".
use to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
bags of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cement
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
and
goes to the market to sale.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
it
is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
from the data in the diagram of the process of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cement
production.

As well
as, the production of concrete
also
seems easy to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
concrete they need
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cement
15
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percent
and water 10
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percent
and
also
sand 25
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percent
, gravel 50
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percent
. To gravel we
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
stones. Then
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
add
all this to the concrete
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mixer
and mix.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
so
concrete machine is rotation
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
its easy to mix, After the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mixer
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stopped
we can find concrete.

Overall
, according to the two diagram is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
how to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cement
and concrete of building purposes.
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IELTS academic making concrete for building purpose.

Academic
  American English
5 paragraphs
241 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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