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Australia telephone calls, by category, 2001-2008

Australia telephone calls, by category, 2001-2008 ken9n
The bar charts depict the total time spent on telephone calls in Australia by minutes (in billions). The calling format is bifurcated into three distinctive categories of local, national & international, and mobiles for the year range from 2001 to 2008. Overall, it is seen that the calling trend through national & international lines and mobiles is increasing while after 2005, the local calling time is gradually decreasing till the year 2008. However, Australian residents spent the highest calling time through the local category in all the eight years. In 2001, 38 billion minutes were spent on the national & international lines category, while in comparison, only 2 billion minutes were utilized in calling through mobiles. From 2001 to 2005, a gradual rise was observed in both the categories, and it rose to 50 billion minutes and 12 billion minutes respectively. However, the difference between 2002-2003 and 2003-2004 was nearly the same, where time spent was on the gradual rise for both the calling groupings. Furthermore, in the year 2006, the national & international category's minutes were noted 55 billion, and for the mobiles division 23 billion minutes. In the succeeding year, the same segment of the calling category registered a rise, and they were 60 minutes and 39 minutes, respectively, with the gradual increase in the next year 2008. For the Local category, the residents in Australia spent 72 billion minutes on the call in 2001, which gradually increased by 4% in 2002. Furthermore, the following year noted a total of 85 billion minutes spent by the individuals on the calling category's local line. For the years 2004 and 2005, the time spent on the local category calling was almost similar to 89 and 90 billion minutes, respectively. After the year 2005, the total number of minutes in billion notes in the succeeding year was decreased by 6%, reaching 84 billion minutes from 90. Also, in the year 2007, a fall of 5% was registered in the total amount of time spent at the local category making it just 72 billion minutes in 2008. The notable factor with this is that the 2008 reading for the total minutes spent came at a figure of the year 2001, whereby the minutes spent were 72. To sum up, the local calling was prominently dominant in 2001 with significantly higher minutes in billion. At the end of the phase-in 2008, the gap between all three categories came to a prominently lower ratio; still, the local time spent is moderately dominating.
The bar charts depict the
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total
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time
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spent
on telephone calls in Australia by minutes (in
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billions)
. The calling format
is bifurcated
into three distinctive
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categories
of
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local
,
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national
&
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international
, and mobiles for the
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year
range from 2001 to 2008.
Overall
, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that the calling trend through
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national
&
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international
lines and mobiles is increasing while after 2005, the
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local
calling
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time
is
gradually
decreasing till the
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year
2008.
However
, Australian residents
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spent
the highest calling
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time
through the
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local
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category
in all the eight years. In 2001, 38
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billion
minutes were
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spent
on the
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national
&
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international
Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean "lines'" or "line's"?
lines
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category
, while
in comparison
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
2
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billion
minutes
were utilized
in calling through mobiles. From 2001 to 2005, a gradual rise
was observed
in both the
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categories
, and it rose to 50
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billion
minutes and 12
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billion
minutes
respectively
.
However
, the difference between 2002-2003 and 2003-2004 was
nearly
the same, where
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time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spent
was on the gradual rise for both the calling groupings.
Furthermore
, in the
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year
2006, the
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national
&
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international
category's minutes
were noted
55
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billion
, and for the
Apostrophe might be missing. Did you mean "mobiles'" or "mobile's"?
mobiles
division 23
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billion
minutes. In the succeeding
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year
, the same segment of the calling
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category
registered a rise, and they were 60 minutes and 39 minutes,
respectively
, with the gradual increase in the
next
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year
2008. For the
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Local
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category
, the residents in Australia
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spent
72
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billion
minutes on the call in 2001, which
gradually
increased by 4% in 2002.
Furthermore
, the following
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year
noted a
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total
of 85
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billion
minutes
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spent
by the individuals on the calling category's
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local
line. For the years 2004 and 2005, the
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time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spent
on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
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category
calling was almost similar to 89 and 90
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billion
minutes,
respectively
. After the
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year
2005, the
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total
number of minutes in
Use "a billion" or use a number before 'billion'.
billion
notes in the succeeding
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year
was decreased
by 6%, reaching 84
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billion
minutes from 90.
Also
, in the
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year
2007, a fall of 5%
was registered
in the
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total
amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spent
at the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
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category
making it
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
72
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billion
minutes in 2008. The notable factor with this is that the 2008 reading for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
total
minutes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spent
came at a figure of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
2001, whereby the minutes
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spent
were 72. To sum up, the
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local
calling was
prominently
dominant in 2001 with
significantly
higher minutes in
Use "a billion" or use a number before 'billion'.
billion
. At the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of the phase-in 2008, the gap between all three
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categories
came to a
prominently
lower ratio;
still
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spent
is
moderately
dominating.
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IELTS academic Australia telephone calls, by category, 2001-2008

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
418 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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