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making cherries jam process

making cherries jam process EqKlr
The diagram below shows how cherry jam are made. Overall, this linear process has 9 steps, starting with collecting cherries in the garden and finishing with sticking a label on the cherry jam product. First, cherries are collected by spreading a sheet on the ground and shaking the tree. After collecting cherries, people transport it to the processing plant. Next, the leaves and stems are removed by the automatic machine in the factory. Subsquently, cherries are washed by clean water to remove dirt before taking the stone out of the middle of cherries. Next stage is cooking cherries in the giant pot with extra ingredients. After being checked the quality by the expert in the laboratory, the jam is put into jars by an automatic process. Finally, all products are labeled to sell out.
The diagram below
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
how cherry jam
are made
.
Overall
, this linear process has 9 steps, starting with collecting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cherries
in the garden and finishing with sticking a label on the cherry jam product.

First
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cherries
are collected
by spreading a sheet on the ground and shaking the tree. After collecting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cherries
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
transport it to the processing plant.
Next
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leaves
and stems
are removed
by the automatic machine in the factory.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Subsquently
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cherries
are washed
by clean water to remove dirt
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
taking the stone out of the middle of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cherries
.
Next
stage is cooking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cherries
in the giant pot with extra ingredients. After being
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
checked
the quality by the expert in the laboratory, the jam
is put
into jars by an automatic process.
Finally
, all products
are labeled
to sell out.
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IELTS academic making cherries jam process

Academic
  American English
2 paragraphs
134 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
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