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main reasons for migration to and from the uk in 2007

main reasons for migration to and from the uk in 2007 558wQ
The pie chart illustrate the percentage various motive that people came to and left the UK in 2007. The initial impression from the chart is that employment was the main cause to immigrate into the UK. And the number of people who emigrated to study was the least factor. Firstly, the largest proportion of immigration was definite job which accounted for 30% and this figure was less than 1% when it compared to emigration (29%). The second reason that made 22% people came to the UK was looking for a job while a minority left the UK for the same reason. According to the arrangement, nearly a quarter of people came to pursue education instead of leaving which only occupied 4%. Furthermore, there was a quite similar that people who immigrated and emigrated to accompany someone or having other purpose with unequal number just 3% in total. Besides, the statistic of stated reason was 18% for emigration and the opposite to emigration that immigration in this cause was lower three times (6%).
The pie chart illustrate the percentage various motive that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
came to and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
the UK in 2007.

The initial impression from the chart is that employment was the main cause to immigrate into the UK. And the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who emigrated to study was the least factor.

Firstly
, the largest proportion of immigration was
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
definite
job which accounted for 30% and this figure was less than 1% when it compared to emigration (29%). The second reason that made 22%
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
came to the UK was looking for a job while a minority
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
the UK for the same reason. According to the arrangement,
nearly
a quarter of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
came to pursue education
instead
of leaving which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
occupied 4%.

Furthermore
, there was a quite similar that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who immigrated and emigrated to accompany someone or having other purpose with unequal number
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
3% in total.
Besides
, the statistic of stated reason was 18% for emigration and the opposite to emigration that immigration in this cause was lower three times (6%).
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IELTS academic main reasons for migration to and from the uk in 2007

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
172 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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