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Main reason for immigration and emigration from UK in 2007

Main reason for immigration and emigration from UK in 2007 5ljP
The pie chart illustrates the proportion of varied reasons that divided in immigration and emigration in United Kingdom in 2007. The first look reveals that the percentage of people who moved into UK to pursue formal study was reached to 26%, whereas, 4% people lifted the country. Additionally, more than 30% people came for getting job, while, less than 1% people lifted the nation. The most striking features of graph that less than 15% people arrived in UK to looking for job, whereas, more than 20% lifted the country. The closer look depicts the percentage of people who resided in nation without reason was accounted to 6%, which was sharp inclination on emigration was expected more than thries. In addition to this, proportion of people who immigrated or emigrated to accompany was reached to 15% and 13% in UK in 2007. To add up, more than 35% people who immigrated or emigrated with other reason. The overall look clears that in United Kingdom, people immigrated to employment and formal study, however, people emigrated from UK to looking for a definite job and look for a work in 2007.
The pie chart illustrates the proportion of varied reasons that divided in immigration and emigration
A determiner is probably missing here: "in the United Kingdom".
in United Kingdom
in 2007.

The
first
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
look
reveals that the percentage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
moved
into UK to pursue formal study
was reached
to 26%, whereas, 4%
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
lifted the country.
Additionally
, more than 30%
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
came for getting job, while, less than 1%
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
lifted the nation. The most striking features of graph that less than 15%
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
arrived in UK to looking for job, whereas, more than 20% lifted the country.

The closer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
look
depicts the percentage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
resided in nation without reason
was accounted
to 6%, which was sharp inclination on emigration was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expected
more than
Possible spelling mistake found.
thries
.
In addition
to this, proportion of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
immigrated or emigrated to accompany
was reached
to 15% and 13% in UK in 2007. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
add
up, more than 35%
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
immigrated or emigrated with other reason.

The
overall
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
look
clears that
A determiner is probably missing here: "in the United Kingdom".
in United Kingdom
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
immigrated to employment and formal study,
however
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
emigrated from UK to looking for a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
definite
job and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
look
for a work in 2007.
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IELTS academic Main reason for immigration and emigration from UK in 2007

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
188 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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