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Line graph represents the changes in number of travellers in four different museum from 1980 to 2015.

Line graph represents the changes in number of travellers in four different museum from 1980 to 2015. 2rX9x
The provided line graph represents the changes in number of travellers who went in four different museums from 1980 to 2015. As an overview, it is noticeable that the maximum number of visitors went in Louvre was always higher than other three museums during the given period of time. Looking into the details, in 1980, the majority of the holiday makers were went to Louvre which was 8 million it gradually increased with the passage of time however it reached at near to peak with 9 million till end. Vatican museum was ranked second with 5 million in the starting years after that it dramatically increased and arrived at close to Louvre. Turning to the detail of other museums, the Shenzhen museum was calculated at minor less than 4 millions in initial period after that it stable. After two decade it steadily rose up and measured at same position which was previous. London science was least popular place it was more than four million in beginning whereas it preference was declined and it settled at approximately to 2 million in 2015.
The provided line graph represents the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
in number of
Possible spelling mistake found.
travellers
who went in four
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
from 1980 to 2015. As an overview, it is noticeable that the maximum number of visitors went in Louvre was always higher than other three
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
during the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
period of time. Looking into the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
, in 1980, the majority of the holiday makers were
Consider using a past participle here: "gone".
went
to Louvre which was 8
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
million
it
gradually
increased with the passage of time
however
it reached at near to peak with 9
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million
till
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
. Vatican
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museum
was ranked
second with 5
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
million
in the starting years after that it
dramatically
increased and arrived at close to Louvre. Turning to the detail of other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
, the Shenzhen
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museum
was calculated
at minor less than 4
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
millions
in initial period after that it stable. After two
Possible agreement error. The noun 'decade' seems to be countable, so consider using: "decades".
decade
it
steadily
rose up and measured at same position which was previous.
The genitive is possibly missing.
London science
was
A determiner is probably missing here: "the least".
least
popular place it was more than four
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
million
in beginning whereas
It seems that the possessive pronoun "its" fits better in this context. Please verify.
it
preference
was declined
and it settled at approximately to 2
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
million
in 2015.
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IELTS academic Line graph represents the changes in number of travellers in four different museum from 1980 to 2015.

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
181 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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