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lifespan of people is increasing after they retire,

lifespan of people is increasing after they retire, peNpw
The bart chart compares the quantity of grown involving in various type of sports in one country in the end of 20th century and in the beginning of following 21 century. Overall, both of year category had the biggest amount of participants in gentle walking. There were 55 thousand to 50 thousand in 2017 and 1997 respectively. Also, proportion of adults interested in basketball in 1997 accounted for almost 10 thousand persons. Regarding to the amount of minority people in 2017, there were only 7 thousand adults belonged to cricket sport club. It is clearly seen, that in both year there were similar amound of people in two type of sports such as jogging and gim. They made up almost 3 thousand sportsmen in first and about 34 thousand in gym. In addition, it is noticeable that in 2017 people tend to be interested in both hiking and football more than sportsmen in 1997. Both sports's indicator had similar amount of participants in appropriately segment of time. While the indicator of hiking and football partisipants in 1997 was nearly 32 thosand, there were about 50 thousand adults in these sports.
The
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bart
chart compares the quantity of grown involving in various type of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
in one country in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of 20th century and in the beginning of following
Did you mean "21st century"?
21 century
.
Overall
, both of year category had the biggest amount of participants in gentle walking. There were 55 thousand to 50 thousand in 2017 and 1997
respectively
.

Also
, proportion of adults interested in basketball in 1997 accounted for almost 10 thousand persons.
The phrase 'Regarding to' is not correct. Use "Regarding" or "regard to".
Regarding to
the amount of minority
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in 2017, there were
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
7 thousand adults belonged to cricket
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
club. It is
clearly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
, that in both year there were similar
Possible spelling mistake found.
amound
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in two type of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
such as jogging and
Possible spelling mistake found.
gim
. They made up almost 3 thousand sportsmen in
first
and about 34 thousand in gym.
In addition
, it is noticeable that in 2017
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
tend to
be interested
in both hiking and football more than sportsmen in 1997. Both
Did you mean "sport's" or "sports'"?
sports's
indicator had similar amount of participants in
appropriately
segment of time. While the indicator of hiking and football
Possible spelling mistake found.
partisipants
in 1997 was
nearly
32
Possible spelling mistake found.
thosand
, there were about 50 thousand adults in these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
.
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IELTS academic lifespan of people is increasing after they retire,

Academic
  American English
2 paragraphs
190 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
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    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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