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levels of unemployment among 16 to 24- year-olds and overall unemployment figures over a period of 20 years in England.

levels of unemployment among 16 to 24- year-olds and overall unemployment figures over a period of 20 years in England. wO2Rr
A glance at the line graph provided reveals striking similarities between levels of unemployment among 16 to 24- year-olds and overall unemployment figures over a period of 20 years in England. It is evident that the proportion of young adults who were unemployed at any time between 1993 and 2012 was significantly higher than the overall proportion of adults without work. Unemployment rates for both groups of adults were consistently higher in London than in the rest of England. Starting with approximately 22%, the proportion of young adults from 16 to 24-year-olds with no job in London witnessed a downward trend to a low of 15% in 2002. The latter half of the period shown, however, brought a marked growth in this figure, the levels of unemployment in 16-24 year-olds in London ultimately reached a peak of 25% in 2012. The figure for the rest of England followed a similar pattern, declining steadily to somewhere in the vicinity of 10%, followed by an exponential increase to over 20% at the end, which was just a little lower than that of London. On the other hand, the overall adult unemployment rates in both London and outside London started at smaller percentages, 15% and 10% respectively. Over the whole period, those figures experienced marginally decrease, the figure for overall unemployment in London ended at nearly 10% and the figure for that in England had the lowest rate, with just merely 8%.
A glance at the line graph provided reveals striking similarities between levels of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
unemployment
among 16 to 24- year-olds and
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overall
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
unemployment
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figures
over a period of 20 years in England.

It is evident that the proportion of young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
adults
who
were unemployed
at any time between 1993 and 2012 was
significantly
higher than the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
overall
proportion of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
adults
without work.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Unemployment
rates for both groups of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
adults
were
consistently
higher in London than in the rest of England.

Starting with approximately 22%, the proportion of young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
adults
from 16 to 24-year-olds with no job in London witnessed a downward trend to a low of 15% in 2002. The latter half of the period shown,
however
, brought a marked growth in this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
figure
, the levels of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
unemployment
in 16-24 year-olds in London
ultimately
reached a peak of 25% in 2012. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
figure
for the rest of England followed a similar pattern, declining
steadily
to somewhere in the vicinity of 10%, followed by an exponential increase to over 20% at the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
, which was
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
lower than that of London.

On the other hand
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
overall
adult
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
unemployment
rates in both London and outside London
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
at smaller percentages, 15% and 10%
respectively
. Over the whole period, those
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figures
experienced
marginally
decrease, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
figure
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
overall
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
unemployment
in London ended at
nearly
10% and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
figure
for that in England had the lowest rate, with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
merely
8%.
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IELTS academic levels of unemployment among 16 to 24- year-olds and overall unemployment figures over a period of 20 years in England.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
239 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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