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kind of vehicles people used

kind of vehicles people used 6aEkx
The pie charts illustrate the various kind of traffic methods of traveller to university where they do work or study between 2004 and 2009. Overall, it can be seen that a significant ratio in bus were used by traveler, the opposite was true for train. Another notable feature is that car had faster plunged than the years before. Look at the diverse methods people used, we can see that in 2004, 51% of the traveler used cars, while the figures for bicycle and bus were lower, at 9% and 33% respectively. Additionally, just 5% of people travelling by walking and train was the method with the lowest percentage of travelers ( 3%). Turning to 2009, bus attracted the majority of users with 46%, which was three times than bicycle. Walking and train were slight increases in the proportion of travelers of 6% and 4% respectively. However, car was a exception. The data was a plummet at 28% in the ratio of people used, which decreased roughly two times than 2004.
The pie charts illustrate the various kind of traffic methods of
Possible spelling mistake found.
traveller
to university where they do work or study between 2004 and 2009.

Overall
, it can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that a significant ratio in bus were
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traveler
, the opposite was true for train. Another notable feature is that car had faster plunged than the years
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
.

Look at the diverse methods
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
, we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
that in 2004, 51% of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traveler
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
cars, while the figures for bicycle and bus were lower, at 9% and 33%
respectively
.
Additionally
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
5% of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
travelling by walking and train was the method with the lowest percentage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travelers
Don't put a space after the opening parenthesis
(
3%).

Turning to 2009, bus attracted the majority of users with 46%, which was three
Use "(times)" to make a comparison with this adjective.
times
than bicycle. Walking and train were slight increases in the proportion of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travelers
of 6% and 4%
respectively
.
However
, car was
Use "an" instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
a
exception. The data was a plummet at 28% in the ratio of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
, which decreased roughly two
Use "(times)" to make a comparison with this adjective.
times
than 2004.
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IELTS academic kind of vehicles people used

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
170 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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