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Graph shows consumption of fish and other meat in European countries.

Graph shows consumption of fish and other meat in European countries. OR3nE
THE LINE GRAPH REPRESENTS THE USAGE OF FISH, CHICKEN, BEEF AND LAMB. IT IS CALLARATED IN GRAMS PER PERSON PER WEEK ON Y AXIS ALONG WITH THE LIST OF YEAR IN X AXIS. OVERALL, THERE WAS A SUBSTANTIAL CONSUMPTION OF BEEF EARLIER AND LATER, IT WAS SUCCEDED BY CHICKEN. THE UTILISATION OF FISH REMAINS ALMOST SIMILAR DURING THE FOLLOWING PERIOD. FIRST, THE GENERAL TREND BETWEEN THE MEAT OF COW AND HEN WERE INVERSE TO EACH OTHER THERE WAS A SUDDEN DROP, TO BELOW 200 GRAMS PER HEAD IN BEEF BETWEEN 1979-1984 WHICH CREATED A SHEER UPWARD TREND FOR CHIKEN AND LATER SUCCEDES THE FORMER IN 1989 BY THE TIME OF 2004, THEY RAPIDLY INCREASED TO ATMOST 250 GRAN PER HEAD IN A WEEK AND VICE VERSA FOR BEEF TO ALMOST 100 GRAMS PER PERSON FOR 7 DAYS. MOREOVER, THE CONTRIBUTION OF FISH IN THE MARKET EVENTUALLY REMAINS SAME, ALTHOUGH THERE WAS A SMALL FLUCTUATION FROM MORE THAN 50 GRAMS IN 1979 TO LESS THAN 50 GRAMS FOR A PERSON. IN ADDITION, THERE WAS AN EFFICIENT USE OF LAMB THAN CHICKEN IN 1979 AT 150 GRAMS PER PEOPLE PER WEEK. ALTHOUGH, THEY DROPPED TO 50 GRAMS APPROXIMATELY.
THE LINE GRAPH REPRESENTS THE USAGE OF FISH, CHICKEN,
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BEEF
AND LAMB. IT IS
Possible spelling mistake found.
CALLARATED
IN
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GRAMS
PER PERSON PER WEEK ON Y AXIS ALONG WITH THE LIST OF YEAR IN X AXIS.

OVERALL
, THERE WAS A SUBSTANTIAL CONSUMPTION OF
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BEEF
EARLIER AND LATER, IT WAS
Possible spelling mistake found.
SUCCEDED
BY CHICKEN. THE
Possible spelling mistake. 'UTILISATION' is British English.
UTILISATION
OF FISH REMAINS ALMOST SIMILAR DURING THE FOLLOWING PERIOD.

FIRST
, THE GENERAL TREND BETWEEN THE MEAT OF COW AND HEN WERE INVERSE TO EACH OTHER THERE WAS A SUDDEN DROP, TO BELOW 200
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GRAMS
PER HEAD IN
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BEEF
BETWEEN 1979-1984 WHICH CREATED A SHEER UPWARD TREND FOR
Possible spelling mistake found.
CHIKEN
AND LATER
Possible spelling mistake found.
SUCCEDES
THE FORMER IN 1989 BY THE TIME OF 2004, THEY
RAPIDLY
INCREASED TO
Possible spelling mistake found.
ATMOST
250 GRAN PER HEAD IN A WEEK AND VICE VERSA FOR
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BEEF
TO ALMOST 100
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GRAMS
PER PERSON FOR 7 DAYS.

MOREOVER
, THE CONTRIBUTION OF FISH IN THE MARKET
EVENTUALLY
REMAINS SAME, ALTHOUGH THERE WAS A
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
SMALL
FLUCTUATION FROM MORE THAN 50
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GRAMS
IN 1979 TO LESS THAN 50
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GRAMS
FOR A PERSON.
IN ADDITION
, THERE WAS AN EFFICIENT
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
USE
OF LAMB THAN CHICKEN IN 1979 AT 150
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GRAMS
PER
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
PEOPLE
PER WEEK. ALTHOUGH, THEY DROPPED TO 50
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
GRAMS
APPROXIMATELY.
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IELTS academic Graph shows consumption of fish and other meat in European countries.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
196 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
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  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
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    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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