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It is ongoing debate whether famous people have bad or positive impact on dwellers. Discuss both

It is ongoing debate whether famous people have bad or positive impact on dwellers. Discuss both mXK1L
Moreover, preeminent person does not have enough time for their family and persue their hobbies. Furthermore, outstanding person have to go anywhere with security because of the crowd. Moreover, remarkable person does not have abundance time for their family and persue their hobbies. Furthermore, powerful person have to go anywhere with security because of the crowd. Moreover, outstanding person does not have enough time for their family and persue their hobbies. Furthermore, famous person have to go anywhere with security owing to the fact that of the crowd. Furthermore, promotion is needed for powerful people since which retain their prominently among the masses and thus being a famous person is an immense pleasure which cannot be neglected by individuals. However, on the other hand, famous people earn a lot of money through films or TV shows which uplifts their living style. Along with this, some people influenced by celebrities which inspire the youth to become a famous actor In conclusion, having prominence is a great happiness, pros of this cannot be neglected. Moreover, preeminent person does not have enough time for their family and persue their hobbies. Furthermore, outstanding person have to go anywhere with security because of the crowd. Moreover, remarkable person does not have abundance time for their family and persue their hobbies. Furthermore, powerful person have to go anywhere with security because of the crowd. Moreover, outstanding person does not have enough time for their family and persue their hobbies. Furthermore, famous person have to go anywhere with security owing to the fact that of the crowd. Furthermore, promotion is needed for powerful people since which retain their prominently among the masses and thus being a famous person is an immense pleasure which cannot be neglected by individuals. However, on the other hand, famous people earn a lot of money through films or TV shows which uplifts their living style. Along with this, some people influenced by celebrities which inspire the youth to become a famous actor In conclusion, having prominence is a great happiness, pros of this cannot be neglected.
Moreover
, preeminent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
does
not have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
enough
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
and
Possible spelling mistake found.
persue
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hobbies
.
Furthermore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
outstanding
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
go anywhere with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
security
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crowd
.
Moreover
, remarkable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
does
not have abundance
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
and
Possible spelling mistake found.
persue
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hobbies
.
Furthermore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
powerful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
go anywhere with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
security
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crowd
.
Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
outstanding
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
does
not have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
enough
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
and
Possible spelling mistake found.
persue
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hobbies
.
Furthermore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
famous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
go anywhere with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
security
owing to the fact that of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crowd
.
Two successive sentences begin with the same adverb. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
Furthermore
, promotion
is needed
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
powerful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
since which retain their
prominently
among the masses and
thus
being a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
famous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
is an immense pleasure which cannot be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
neglected
by individuals.
However
,
on the other hand
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
famous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
earn
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
money through films or TV
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
which uplifts their living style. Along with this,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
influenced by celebrities which inspire the youth to become a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
famous
actor
In conclusion
, having prominence is a great happiness, pros of this cannot be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
neglected
.
Moreover
, preeminent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
does
not have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
enough
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
and
Possible spelling mistake found.
persue
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hobbies
.
Furthermore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
outstanding
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
go anywhere with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
security
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crowd
.
Moreover
, remarkable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
does
not have abundance
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
and
Possible spelling mistake found.
persue
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hobbies
.
Furthermore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
powerful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
go anywhere with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
security
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crowd
.
Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
outstanding
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
does
not have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
enough
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
and
Possible spelling mistake found.
persue
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hobbies
.
Furthermore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
famous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
go anywhere with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
security
owing to the fact that of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crowd
.
Two successive sentences begin with the same adverb. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
Furthermore
, promotion
is needed
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
powerful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
since which retain their
prominently
among the masses and
thus
being a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
famous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
is an immense pleasure which cannot be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
neglected
by individuals.
However
,
on the other hand
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
famous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
earn
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
money through films or TV
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
which uplifts their living style. Along with this,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
influenced by celebrities which inspire the youth to become a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
famous
actor
In conclusion
, having prominence is a great happiness, pros of this cannot be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
neglected
.
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IELTS academic It is ongoing debate whether famous people have bad or positive impact on dwellers. Discuss both

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
344 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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