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It is important for children to learn the difference between right and wrong at an early age. Punishment is necessary to help them learn this distinction. To what extend do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Acquiring the ability that capable children to diagnose right and wrong, which contributes to that they can differentiate them during childhood, is important. Although in order to help them to acknowledge this skill the act of punishing them is essential, I am not in favor of this point of view completely. Kids, virtually between three years old to adolescence, may make a great number of mistakes while they are not aware of the impact of them. Some of their mistakes are not as important as to punish them; especially ones which are related to their thrills of age. A little boy who must have played with all napkins on the table and left his parents feeling angry could be a notable example. Such that trivial mischief should not lead to just punishing they as it may have a reverse effect; since they do not perceive the reason why they have been given a punishment and they will be tempted to do it again. However, when growing up, children may undergo their mistakes that if they repeat, they would suffer the consequences in the future. For an instance, a first-year elementary student hurting peers or is used to steal their classmates’ pieces of stuff such as erasers. In such cases, parents realize they do need to adopt a punitive approach in case this behavior will have long-term repercussions throughout their child’s life. In terms of their cognitive development, they should both insight that the more wrong their activities, the more intense their penalties and be able to recognize their immoral acts in order to gradually eliminate them. In conclusion, there cannot exist such an answer as completely agree or disagree to this question. The answer can vary from child to child. Whether consider punishment as a way to learn how to choose right and wrong is relative to a kind of child’s mistake. It, even though help them in some cases, may not be imperative in others.
Acquiring the ability that capable children to diagnose right and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
, which contributes to that they can differentiate them during childhood, is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
. Although in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them to acknowledge this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
the act of punishing them is essential, I am not in favor of this point of view completely.

Kids,
virtually
between three years
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
to adolescence, may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a great number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mistakes
while they are not aware of the impact of them.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mistakes
are not as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
as to punish them;
especially
ones which
are related
to their thrills of age. A
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
boy who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
have played with all napkins on the table and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
his parents feeling angry could be a notable example. Such that trivial mischief should not lead to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
punishing they as it may have a reverse effect; since they do not perceive the reason why they have been
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
a
Use a comma before ‘and’ if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
punishment and
they will
be tempted
to do it again.

However
, when growing up, children may undergo their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mistakes
that if they repeat, they would suffer the consequences in the future. For an instance, a
first
-year elementary student hurting peers or is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to steal their classmates’ pieces of stuff such as erasers. In such cases, parents realize they do need to adopt a punitive approach in case this behavior will have long-term repercussions throughout their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child’s
life. In terms of their cognitive development, they should both insight that the more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
their activities, the more intense their penalties and be able to recognize their immoral acts in order to
gradually
eliminate them.

Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
In
conclusion, there cannot exist such an answer as completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
or disagree to this question. The answer can vary from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
. Whether consider punishment as a way to learn how to choose right and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
is relative to a kind of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mistake
. It,
even though
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
cases, may not be imperative in others.
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IELTS academic It is important for children to learn the difference between right and wrong at an early age. Punishment is necessary to help them learn this distinction. with this opinion?

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
326 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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