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internet usage in from peroid

The bar chart represent the number of urban and rural areas having internet access. Internet avaliablity is one of major component now a days. The chart shows that more than 50% of urban areas are connected with internet in 2016. Whereas nearly 35% of people in remote areas get internet access. If we will observe the chart from 2011-2016, the graph shows that develped areas have high percentage of internet access as compared to remote areas. Internet Access is less than 20% in 2011 which will increased to above than 50% just in 4-5 years period. The graph clearly represent that the access of internet in both type of areas increases with passage of time. The internet availabilty get doubled between year 2012-2013. After that the progress get become flat in urban areas on the side in remote areas availiablity increases slowly along the period of 2011-2016.
The bar chart represent the number of urban and rural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
having internet
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
access
. Internet
Possible spelling mistake found.
avaliablity
is one of major component
Did you mean “nowadays”?
now a days
. The chart
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
that more than 50% of urban
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
are connected
with internet in 2016.
“Whereas” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Whereas
nearly
35% of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in remote
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areas
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
internet
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
access
. If we
Consider removing ‘will’. (Usually, ‘will’ does not occur in a conditional clause, unless in the sense ‘want to’ or ‘be willing to’.)
will observe
the chart from 2011-2016, the graph
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
that
Possible spelling mistake found.
develped
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
have high percentage of internet
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
access
as compared to remote
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
. Internet
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Access
is less than 20% in 2011 which will increased to above than 50%
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
in 4-5 years period. The graph
clearly
represent that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
access
of internet in both type of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
increases with passage of time. The internet
Possible spelling mistake found.
availabilty
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
doubled between year 2012-2013.
“After” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
After
that the progress
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
become flat in urban
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
on the side in remote
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
Possible spelling mistake found.
availiablity
increases
slowly
along the period of 2011-2016.
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IELTS academic internet usage in from peroid

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
147 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
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