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international visitors to New Zealand reason for visit

international visitors to New Zealand reason for visit g5A17
The given pie chart delineates the percentage of the various reason for New Zealand global visitors to come to this country. 4 types of reasons for coming to New Zealand are shown by the diagram, and they are followed: holiday, visiting friends and relatives, business, other. At the first glance, it is clear holidays constitute the main reason for travelers, and other reasons have the lowest rate. Just under half of the people choose NewZealand as their destination for holiday, visiting friends and relatives is another significant reason that attracts people to this country, whereas approximately a quarter of people don't come to NewZealand for their pleasure which the figure 13% refer to business and rest of them have different other reason for visiting.
The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
pie chart delineates the percentage of the various
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
for New Zealand global visitors to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
to this country. 4 types of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
for coming to New Zealand
are shown
by the diagram, and they
are followed
: holiday, visiting friends and relatives, business, other. At the
first
glance, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
holidays constitute the main
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
for travelers, and other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
have the lowest rate.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Just
under half of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
choose
Possible spelling mistake found.
NewZealand
as their destination for holiday, visiting friends and relatives is another significant
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
that attracts
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to this country, whereas approximately a quarter of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
don't
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
to
Possible spelling mistake found.
NewZealand
for their pleasure which the figure 13% refer to business and rest of them have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
for visiting.
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IELTS academic international visitors to New Zealand reason for visit

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
124 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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