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Information in chart about problems people have when they move to new country

Information in chart about problems people have when they move to new country WyWae
This bar chart depicts the problems people have when they move to a new country, and how it vary according to age groups. This information extracted from a Survey has done in HBSC bank international expat explorer. The most problematic issue for people in the middle age group is health care problems (over 34 percent). However, all age groups have trouble sorting out health care in the close percentage, (36 percent in older age groups and 35 percent in younger age group) but the middle age group find it more difficult. The second most difficulties for people age 35 to 54 is money problems with 35 percent. However the percentage of people who find money issue difficult is higher in the middle age groups, but this is the most difficulties for people age 18 to 34 with about 34 percent. The least problem in the middle age group and the highest one among all age groups is school problems. Near to 29 percent of people age 35 to 54 have trouble finding schools for their children, which is the least problematic one in total, in the oldest age group with about 4 percent. In general all age groups face with the same problems in some extent but the middle age group is the group who tackles with problems more in compression of two other groups.
This bar chart depicts the
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problems
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people
have when they
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move
to a new country, and how it
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vary
according to
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age
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groups
. This information extracted from a Survey has done in
Possible spelling mistake found.
HBSC
bank international expat explorer.

The most problematic issue for
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people
in the
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middle
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age
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group
is health care
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problems
(over 34
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percent)
.
However
, all
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age
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groups
have trouble sorting out health care in the close percentage, (36
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percent
in older
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age
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groups
and 35
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percent
in younger
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age
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group)
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but
the
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middle
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age
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group
find it more difficult.

The second most difficulties for
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people
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age
35 to 54 is money
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problems
with 35
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percent
.
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However
the percentage of
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people
who find money issue difficult is higher in the
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middle
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age
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groups
,
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but
this is the most difficulties for
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people
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age
18 to 34 with about 34 percent.

The least
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problem
in the
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middle
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age
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group
and the highest one among all
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age
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groups
is school
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problems
. Near to 29
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percent
of
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people
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age
35 to 54 have trouble finding schools for their children, which is the least problematic one in total, in the oldest
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age
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group
with about 4 percent.

In general
all
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age
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groups
face with the same
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problems
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
extent
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but
the
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middle
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age
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group
is the
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group
who tackles with
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problems
more in compression of two other
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groups
.
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IELTS academic Information in chart about problems people have when they move to new country

Academic
  American English
5 paragraphs
225 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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