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information about consumption of spreads

information about consumption of spreads 1oePW
The given line chart clearly depicts information regarding the number of consumed spreads, matured in grams, in 3 particularly types from 1981 to 2007. The 3 types include Low fat and reduced spreads, Margarine, and Buter. Overall, it can be noticeable that there are 2 general trends: an upward and a downward. In deep detail, it can be notice that the quantity of consumed Low fat and reduce spreads experienced the upward trend; there were a dramatical escalate from 10 grams in 1966 to 80 grams in 2001 and then a short dip to 70 grams in 2007. Conversely, the volume of consumed Margarines and Butters underwent the downward trend. To be specific, the volume of consumed Margarines had decreased steadily from approximately 95 grams in 1981 to 80 grams in 1986 before declining shortly to 40 grams in 2007. Meanwhile, although the volume of consumed Butters boosted gently form 140 grams in 1981 to 160 grams in 1986 and then reduced moderately to 50 grams at the end.
The
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given
line chart
clearly
depicts information regarding the number of
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consumed
spreads, matured in
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grams
, in 3
particularly
types from 1981 to 2007. The 3 types include Low
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fat
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
spreads, Margarine, and
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Buter
.
Overall
, it can be noticeable that there are 2 general trends: an upward and a downward.

In deep detail, it can be notice that the quantity of
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consumed
Low
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fat
and
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reduce
spreads experienced the upward trend; there were a
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dramatical
escalate from 10
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grams
in 1966 to 80
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grams
in 2001 and then a short dip to 70
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grams
in 2007.

Conversely
, the volume of
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consumed
Possible spelling mistake found.
Margarines
and Butters underwent the downward trend. To be specific, the volume of
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consumed
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Margarines
had decreased
steadily
from approximately 95
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grams
in 1981 to 80
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grams
in 1986
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before
declining shortly to 40
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grams
in 2007. Meanwhile, although the volume of
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consumed
Butters boosted
gently
form 140
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grams
in 1981 to 160
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grams
in 1986 and then
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reduced
moderately
to 50
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grams
at the
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end
.

IELTS academic information about consumption of spreads

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
169 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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