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In this text, we are going to analyse the following graph showing the average in three periods among the number of men and women in further education, and whether they were studying full time or part-time.

In this text, we are going to analyse the following graph showing the average in three periods among the number of men and women in further education, and whether they were studying full time or part-time. aqbYX
In this text, we are going to analyse the following graph showing the average in three periods among the number of men and women in further education, and whether they were studying full time or part-time. As it is shown, there is an upward trend with both male and females working part-time, owing to thousands in further education studied part-time in all periods, on the other hand, the number of people who studied full time does not exceed the number of 400. Female reached peak in 1990/91 with approximately 1500 in further education, surpassing male in all three periods. We saw a steady growth in females studying in both full time and part. time throughout 1980/81. Nevertheless, male dropped sharply in 1980/81 in part-time education, however full time started to increase in the same year, reaching its peak in 1990/91 with around 200. To sum up, we can conclude that both genders, no matter the ages, had part-time education.
In this text, we are going to
Possible spelling mistake. 'analyse' is British English.
analyse
the following graph showing the average in three periods among the number of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
and women in
further
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
, and whether they were studying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
full
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
or part-time.

As it
is shown
, there is an upward trend with both male and females working part-time, owing to thousands in
further
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
studied part-time in all periods,
on the other hand
, the number of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who studied
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
full
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
does not exceed the number of 400.

Female reached peak in 1990/91 with approximately 1500 in
further
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
, surpassing male in all three periods. We
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
saw
a steady growth in females studying in both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
full
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
and part.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
time
throughout 1980/81.
Nevertheless
, male dropped
sharply
in 1980/81 in part-time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
,
however
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
full
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
to increase in the same year, reaching its peak in 1990/91 with around 200.

To sum up, we can conclude that both genders, no matter the ages, had part-time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
.

IELTS academic In this text, we are going to analyse the following graph showing the average in three periods among the number of men and women in further education, and whether they were studying full time or part-time.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
159 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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