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In many countries highly educated graduates are not employed. What is the cause and solution.

The chart illustrates the number of people who attended three different types of entertainment venues namely sports, theme park and movies, in the year 2009. The table describes the cost of admission for various venues. Units used to measure the cost was dollars. To begin with, large number of crowd was attracted towards cinema i. e, approximately 1050 people. Next famous thing was theme parks with occupancy of nearly 3050 people Unlike movies sports attracted very few people. It managed to gather merely 150 people approximately. In regards with the table, it can be inferred that football games were priced higher compared to other forms of enterainments. Football game-AF1 costed highest of all i. e. , $75 for a single ticket and $298 for a family of 4 members. The tickets of singles and group for Football-NRU was $71 and $280 respectively. Tickets of theme parks were as nealry as high as football i e. . $70 for bachelor and $210 for family. Basketball costed nearly half of football i e. , $534 for singles and $135 for family. Tickets of Cricket were sold at as lowas $24 for bachelors and $80 for family. Cinema was priced lowest of all with $15 per person and $55 for family. overall, since cinemas had lower admission price it managed to get largest attendance. On the Contrary, people showed least interest in sports and it emerged as lowest attendance entertainment venue.
The chart illustrates the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who attended three
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
types of entertainment venues
namely
sports, theme park and movies, in the year 2009. The table
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
describes
the cost of admission for various venues. Units
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to measure the cost was

dollars.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, large number of crowd
was attracted
towards cinema i. e, approximately 1050
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
Next
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
thing was theme parks with occupancy of
nearly
3050
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
Unlike movies sports attracted
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
few
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. It managed to gather
merely
150
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
approximately.

In regards with the table, it can
be inferred
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
football
games
were priced
higher compared to other forms of
Possible spelling mistake found.
enterainments
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Football
game-AF1 costed highest of all
There should be no space here: “i.e.”.
i. e.
Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma.
,
$75 for a single
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ticket
and $298

for a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
of 4 members. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tickets
of

singles and group for Football-NRU was $71 and $280
respectively
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Tickets
of theme parks were as
Possible spelling mistake found.
nealry
as high as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
football
i e.
Two consecutive dots
.
$70 for bachelor and $210 for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
. Basketball costed
nearly
half of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
football
i e.
Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma.
,
$534 for singles and $135 for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Tickets
of Cricket
were sold
at as
Possible spelling mistake found.
lowas
$24 for bachelors and $80 for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
. Cinema
was priced
lowest of all with $15 per person and $55 for family.

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter.
overall
, since cinemas had lower admission price it managed to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
A determiner is probably missing here: “the largest”.
largest
attendance.
On the Contrary
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
A determiner is probably missing here: “the least”.
least
interest in
Use a comma before ‘and’ if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
sports and
it emerged as lowest attendance entertainment venue.
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IELTS academic In many countries highly educated graduates are not employed. What is the cause and solution.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
238 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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