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If you look at these pie charts you will notice that they give us some data about the ages of the population in two countries in 2000 and the plane for 2050 actually in Yemen and Italy.

If you look at these pie charts you will notice that they give us some data about the ages of the population in two countries in 2000 and the plane for 2050 actually in Yemen and Italy. 1bo6A
If you look at these pie charts you will notice that they give us some data about the ages of the population in two countries in 2000 and the plane for 2050 actually in Yemen and Italy. In 2000, Yemen just over half the population were between 0-14 years while it was more than 14 percent the same age in Italy, also 15-59 years were less fifty percent in Yemen and more 60 percent in Italy, another ages ( +60 years ) around 3 percent in Yemen and a small minority in Italy. In 2050, Birth rates will drop; actually it will be 37% in Yemen and about Italy we will see a slight decrease. The Number of people between 15 to 59 years will grow more than 57% in Yemen, and it will go down in Italy at the same ages. Finally for people that live more than sixteen years old we cannot see sharp changes in Yemen, unlike that it will rise in Italy. Overall, In the future the population in Italy will be older than Yemen, likewise Yemen will be a younger country in 2050.
If you look at these pie charts you will notice that they give us
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
data about the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ages
of the population in two countries in 2000 and the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plane
for 2050 actually in Yemen and Italy.

In 2000, Yemen
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
over half the population were between 0-14 years while it was more than 14
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percent
the same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
in Italy,
also
15-59 years were less fifty
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percent
in Yemen and more 60
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percent
in Italy, another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ages
Don't put a space after the opening parenthesis
(
+60 years
Don't put a space before the closing parenthesis
)
around 3
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percent
in Yemen and a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
minority in Italy.

In 2050, Birth rates will drop; actually it will be 37% in Yemen and about Italy we will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
a slight decrease. The Number of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
Use "between" + "and" not "to." Try this: "between 15 and 59".
between 15 to 59
years will grow more than 57% in Yemen, and it will go down in Italy at the same
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ages
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Finally
for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
more than sixteen years
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
we cannot
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
sharp
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
in Yemen, unlike that it will rise in Italy.

Overall
, In the future the population in Italy will be older than Yemen,
likewise
Yemen will be a younger country in 2050.
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IELTS academic If you look at these pie charts you will notice that they give us some data about the ages of the population in two countries in 2000 and the plane for 2050 actually in Yemen and Italy.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
188 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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