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Ielts writing task 1 - bar graph

Ielts writing task 1 - bar graph KlAx1

The given bar chart illustrates the percentages of Canadians actively taking part in the ten most popular sports. In general, Golf and Ice hockey were the most popular sport for Canadians in years given i. e. 1998 and 2005. The participation rates have gone down for the majority of sports during the years given. As can be seen from the graph, in 1998, Golf had the highest participation rate with about 22%, followed by Ice hockey with approximately 18%. However, in 2005, these rates went down to just over 20% and about 18% respectively. Baseball was the third favourite sports in 1998 with around 18% people enjoying the sports, but this dropped significantly by some 10% in 2005. The majority of the sports experienced a drop in participation from 1998 to 2005; the proportion of people enjoying the sports such as Cycling, Volleyball, Alpine Skiing decreased slightly by 1 to 3%. Soccer, the only sport to have gained popularity, had around 2% of more people enjoying the sports.

The This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :accorded
given
 bar chart illustrates the percentages of Canadians actively
 taking part in the ten most popular sports.

In general
, Golf and Ice hockey were the most popular You use this word too often, consider replacing it withfunathleticspastimegame
sport
 for Canadians in years This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :accorded
given
There should be no space here: "i.e.".i.e.
i. e.
 1998 and 2005. The participation rates have gone down for the majority of You use this word too often, consider replacing it withfunathleticspastimegame
sports
 during the years This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :accorded
given
.

As can be This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :witnessed
seen
 from the graph, in 1998, Golf had the highest participation rate with about 22%, followed by Ice hockey with approximately 18%. However
, in 2005, these rates went down to This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:merely
just
 over 20% and about 18% respectively
. Baseball was the third Possible spelling mistake. 'favourite' is British English.favorite
favourite
You use this word too often, consider replacing it withfunathleticspastimegame
sports
 in 1998 with around 18% This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :individualsnationsociety
people
 enjoying the You use this word too often, consider replacing it withfunathleticspastimegame
sports
, This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:on the contrary
but
 this dropped significantly
 by This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:a number of
some
 10% in 2005.

The majority of the You use this word too often, consider replacing it withfunathleticspastimegame
sports
 experienced a drop in participation from 1998 to 2005; the proportion of This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :individualsnationsociety
people
 enjoying the You use this word too often, consider replacing it withfunathleticspastimegame
sports
 such as Cycling, Volleyball, Alpine Skiing decreased slightly
 by 1 to 3%. Soccer, the This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :exclusively
only
You use this word too often, consider replacing it withfunathleticspastimegame
sport
 to have gained popularity, had around 2% of more This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :individualsnationsociety
people
 enjoying the You use this word too often, consider replacing it withfunathleticspastimegame
sports
. 