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IELTS Writing diagram description

IELTS Writing diagram description Mr87e

The plan illustrates the renovations of the territory of a particular museum. It is clear that 2 zones were replaced, 1 new area was built and also changes affected on lifts and main entrance. First of all, the entrance was moved from Spring street to Patterson street. Consequently, both elevators were transferred under the south wall of the open atrium, which caused the walkway disappearance. These actions allowed to transport the Marine room from the south-west corner of the museum to the place where the previous entrance was. Thus, the store room took the previous marine room`s place and provided more space for the gemstones zone that was swapped with the store room that now is much bigger. Moreover, a new modern art space appeared in the north-west corner of the museum. Such places as toilets, open atrium, dinosaur exhibition, mind and body room and zone where visitors can explore the evolution theory remained unchanged.

The plan illustrates the renovations of the territory of a particular museum. It is This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :apparent
clear
 that 2 zones were replaced
, 1 new area was built
 and also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :altersadjusts
changes
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :impacted
affected
 on lifts and main entrance.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".First
First of all
, the entrance was This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :relocated
moved
 from Spring street to Patterson street. Consequently
, both elevators were transferred
 under the south wall of the open atrium, which caused the walkway disappearance. These actions This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:admissible
allowed
 to transport the Marine You use this word too often, consider replacing it withplacearea
room
 from the south-west corner of the museum to the place where the previous entrance was. Thus
, the store You use this word too often, consider replacing it withplacearea
room
 took the previous marine The character between 'room' and 's' is an accent character, not a standard apostrophe character. Use "room’s" (curly apostrophe) or "room's" (straight apostrophe).room’sroom's
room`s
 place and provided more space for the gemstones zone that was swapped
 with the store You use this word too often, consider replacing it withplacearea
room
 that This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :nowadays
now
 is much bigger.

Moreover
, a new modern art space appeared in the north-west corner of the museum. Such places as toilets, open atrium, dinosaur exhibition, mind and body You use this word too often, consider replacing it withplacearea
room
 and zone where visitors can explore the evolution theory remained unchanged. 