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How the bee makes honey and production of honey

How the bee makes honey and production of honey 6NPOl
The life-cycle of a honey bee and the commercial production of honey are represented in the charts. Eggs are laid in the honeycomb by queen bee in the first stage of life-cycle, and approximately 72 hours later, larvae emerge. The larvae attain its maturity in seven days after its emergence. It takes another three weeks for the bees, which are transformed from the larval stage to be fully equipped to leave the hive for gathering nectar from flowers. The collected nectar is deposited in the hive, which becomes honey later and the bees leave again in search of nectar. Turning to the honey production process, in the first step, the honeycomb is detached from the hive. The beekeepers send this to the honeycomb machine for the honey extraction. In the next step, the honey is boiled to make it clean. This is filled in individual jars and then distributed and marketed. Overall, it is clear that both the processes include multiple steps, which are systematic.
The life-cycle of a honey bee and the commercial production of honey
are represented
in the charts. Eggs
are laid
in the honeycomb by queen bee in the
first
stage of life-cycle, and approximately 72 hours later, larvae emerge. The larvae attain its maturity in seven days after its emergence. It takes another three weeks for the bees, which
are transformed
from the larval stage to be
fully
equipped to
leave
the hive for gathering nectar from flowers. The collected nectar
is deposited
in the hive, which becomes honey later and the bees
leave
again in search of nectar.

Turning to the honey production process, in the
first
step, the honeycomb
is detached
from the hive. The beekeepers
send
this to the honeycomb machine for the honey extraction. In the
next
step, the honey
is boiled
to
make
it clean. This
is filled
in individual jars and then distributed and marketed.
Overall
, it is
clear
that both the processes include multiple steps, which are systematic.
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IELTS academic How the bee makes honey and production of honey

Academic
  American English
2 paragraphs
165 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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