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how much money was spent on 5 different categories by a certain European country

how much money was spent on 5 different categories by a certain European country KVn2M
The chart illustrates how much money was spent on 5 different categories by a certain European country from 1960 to 2000. Overall, there was an increase in the percentage of spending on transport, while others witnessed a significant fall. In addition, the expenditure of food had the highest figure from 2000 backwards, then it was overtaken by expending on transport at the end of the period. The proportion of money spending on food started at about 34%, after which it experienced a decline to around 25% in 1980, before ending the period at 14%. In contrast, spending on trasport was at 9%, followed by a significant growth to approximately 15% in 2000, and this is the largest spending area in 2000. About 18% of the expenditure was alloted to entertainment activities, with a subsequent considerable drop to 16% in 1980 and a final decline at roughly 11% in 2000. Similar change can be seen in the figure for clothing and fuel or power, ending at just around 5% and 3% respectively.
The chart illustrates how much money
was spent
on 5
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
categories by a certain European country from 1960 to 2000.

Overall
, there was an increase in the percentage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spending
on transport, while others witnessed a significant fall.
In addition
, the expenditure of food had the highest figure from 2000 backwards, then it
was overtaken
by expending on transport at the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of the period.

The proportion of money
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spending
on food
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
at about 34%, after which it experienced a decline to around 25% in 1980,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
ending the period at 14%.
In contrast
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spending
on
Possible spelling mistake found.
trasport
was at 9%, followed by a significant growth to approximately 15% in 2000, and this is the largest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spending
area in 2000.

About 18% of the expenditure was
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "allotted", the past tense form of the verb 'allot'?
alloted
to entertainment activities, with a subsequent considerable drop to 16% in 1980 and a final decline at roughly 11% in 2000. Similar
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
in the figure for clothing and fuel or power, ending at
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
around 5% and 3%
respectively
.
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IELTS academic how much money was spent on 5 different categories by a certain European country

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
171 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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