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how many people visited three museums over the span of five years from 2000 to 2005

how many people visited three museums over the span of five years from 2000 to 2005 2xjmw
The bar chart illustrates how many people visited three museums over the span of five years from 2000 to 2005. There are MET in New York, Edo in Tokio and National building in China. Overall, it can be seen that National museum in China showed upward trend during the period, whereas in Edo and MET museums was ups and downs. The number of visitors of National museum started at more than 60 million and increased gradually until 2003, then plateaued and in 2005 reached the highest level under 14 million. In contrast, under 14 million visited Edo museum between 2000 and 2001, after we see a dramatic decrease in 2002 and 2003, with data around 9 and 6, 3 respectively. But in 2005 the number of people who visited Edo rose gradually to 10 by the end of period. MET illustrated similar downward trand with Edo, although in 2001 and 2002 it is clear that the amount of visitors stayed constant. Next, we see how data of people grew. In conclusion, the most popular museums were Edo and National museum, according to the chart they showed the highest level of visitors in different years.
The bar chart illustrates how
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many
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people
visited three
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museums
over the span of five years from 2000 to 2005. There
are MET
in New York,
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Edo
in
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Tokio
and
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National
building in China.
Overall
, it can be
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seen
that
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National
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museum
in China
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
upward trend during the period, whereas in
Possible spelling mistake found.
Edo
and MET
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museums
was ups and downs. The number of visitors of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
National
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museum
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
at more than 60 million and increased
gradually
until 2003, then plateaued and in 2005 reached the highest level under 14 million.
In contrast
, under 14 million visited
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Edo
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museum
between 2000 and 2001, after we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
a dramatic decrease in 2002 and 2003, with data around 9 and 6, 3
respectively
.
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But
in 2005 the number of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who visited
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Edo
rose
gradually
to 10 by the
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end
of period. MET illustrated similar downward
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trand
with
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Edo
, although in 2001 and 2002 it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that the amount of visitors stayed constant.
Next
, we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
how data of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
grew.
In conclusion
, the most popular
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museums
were
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Edo
and
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National
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museum
, according to the chart they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
the highest level of visitors in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
years.
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IELTS academic how many people visited three museums over the span of five years from 2000 to 2005

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
194 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
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    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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