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How many international students manage to graduate

How many international students manage to graduate Xloor
Thousands of students manage to graduate around the world. But how many students make it in Canada? For this reason, we have decided to obtain the percentage of international students on two different dates, to observe if the numbers have increased or decreased; It is important to note that in the graph shown at the bottom, we have the names of the different Canadian provinces where the surveys were conducted. After waiting 5 years and taking the survey again, the results were as expected in most provinces, it was confirmed that every year more people travel to this country in search of a good education. However, there is a province that attracted a lot of attention, Alberta. Alberta is a province in western Canada, which has obtained a different result than the others. In 2001, its percentage was 5. 8, and in 2006, 4. 2. In conclusion, fewer students have decided to study in this province.
Thousands of
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students
manage to graduate around the world.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
how
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
it in Canada?

For this reason
, we have decided to obtain the percentage of international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
on two
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
dates, to observe if the numbers have increased or decreased; It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to note that in the graph shown at the bottom, we have the names of the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
Canadian
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
provinces
where the surveys
were conducted
.

After waiting 5 years and taking the survey again, the results were as
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expected
in most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
provinces
, it
was confirmed
that every year more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
travel to this country in search of a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
education.
However
, there is a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
province
that attracted
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
attention, Alberta.

Alberta is a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
province
in western Canada, which has obtained a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
result than the others. In 2001, its percentage was 5. 8, and in 2006, 4. 2.

In conclusion
, fewer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
have decided to study in this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
province
.
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IELTS academic How many international students manage to graduate

Academic
  American English
5 paragraphs
156 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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