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Households owing consumer durables

Households owing consumer durables LGpwr
The table provided in the task illustrate the percentage of households, owning several consumer durables in Britain from 1972 to 1983. The report presents that data of proportion of households with central heating, television, video, but complainer, refrigerator, washing machine, dishwasher, and telephone. This data was gathered for discontinuous years to be specified 1972, 1974, 1976 and continuous years from 1978 to 1983. The proportion of household owing these products was continuously increasing in these years for each kind of the appliances. The data of dishwasher is given from the year 1978 to onwards and shows minor fraction of households possessing it. However, a significant majority, increasing with the ratio approximately 9 out of ten, of a households were having, television, refrigerator, and vacuum cleaner in the given years. An evident number of household had washing machine and telephone, that is 80% and 77% respectively, in the end of the period. Furthermore, central heating had proportion of continuous increasing in the whole time, from lower than two-fifth to more than four-fifths of the whole sum. The data of video is only presented for the year 1981, which shows only 18% of the household had video player in the same year. In conclusion, it can be inferred that the consumer durables were in-demand in those years.
The table provided in the task illustrate the percentage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
households
, owning several consumer durables in Britain from 1972 to 1983.

The report presents that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
data
of proportion of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
households
with central heating, television, video,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
complainer, refrigerator, washing machine, dishwasher, and telephone. This
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
data
was gathered
for discontinuous years to
be specified
1972, 1974, 1976 and continuous years from 1978 to 1983. The proportion of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
household
owing these products was
continuously
increasing in these years for each kind of the appliances.

The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
data
of dishwasher
Possible agreement error. You should probably use: "are".
is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
1978 to onwards and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
minor fraction of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
households
possessing it.
However
, a significant majority, increasing with the ratio approximately 9 out of ten, of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
households
were having, television, refrigerator, and vacuum cleaner in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
years. An evident number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
household
had washing machine and telephone,
that is
80% and 77%
respectively
, in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of the period.
Furthermore
, central heating had proportion of continuous increasing in the whole time, from lower than two-fifth to more than four-fifths of the whole sum. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
data
of video
Possible agreement error. You should probably use: "are".
is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
presented for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
1981, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
18% of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
household
had video player in the same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
.
In conclusion
, it can
be inferred
that the consumer durables were in-demand in those years.
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IELTS academic Households owing consumer durables

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
215 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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