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BAR andline graph representing temperatute and rainfall in london

BAR andline graph representing temperatute and rainfall in london wK6eE
The bar and line graph demonstrates the data on average rainfall as well as the maximum and minimum daily temperature in London over a year. Overall, it is evident from the graph that the maximum amount of rainfall during the month of November and the temperature in London never goes beyond a certain limit. The overall average rainfall observed during the entire year in London is approximately 50. 5mm with November recoding the maximum rainfall of around 65mm. Looking into the details of temperature in London, the month of July recorded the highest temperature of all months with the average daily maximum temperature around 22 degree Celsius and the average daily minimum temperature approximate to 12 degree Celsius. Of all the months in a particular year, January was the coldest with maximum temperature of around 5 degree Celsius while the minimum temperature of about 2 degree Celsius. the maximum and minimum temperature from the month of January to July shows a steady increase in the temperature ranging from 5 degree Celsius to around 22 degree Celsius and from 2 degree Celsius to around12 degree Celsius. However we find a steady decrease in the temperature from the month of August to December.
The bar and line graph demonstrates the data on
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average
rainfall
as well
as the maximum and
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minimum
daily
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temperature
in London over a year.
Overall
, it is evident from the graph that the maximum amount of

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
rainfall
during the
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month
of November and the temperature

in London never goes beyond a certain limit.

The
overall
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average
rainfall observed during the entire year in London is approximately 50.
Insert a space between the numerical value and the unit symbol "5 mm"
5mm
with November
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recoding
the maximum rainfall of
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around
Insert a space between the numerical value and the unit symbol "65 mm"
65mm
. Looking into the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
of
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temperature
in London, the
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month
of July recorded the highest
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temperature
of all
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months
with the
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average
daily maximum
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temperature
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
around
22
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degree
Celsius and the
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average
daily
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minimum
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temperature
approximate to 12
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degree
Celsius. Of all the
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months
in a particular year, January was the coldest with
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maximum


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temperature
of
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around
5
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degree
Celsius while the
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minimum
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temperature
of about 2
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degree
Celsius.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
the
maximum and
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minimum
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
temperature
from the
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month
of January to July
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
a steady increase in the
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temperature
ranging from 5
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degree
Celsius to
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around
22
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degree
Celsius and from 2
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degree
Celsius to
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around12
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
degree
Celsius.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
However
we find a steady decrease in the
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temperature
from the
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month
of August to December.
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IELTS academic BAR andline graph representing temperatute and rainfall in london

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
201 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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