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Honey collection in 5 different States

Honey collection in 5 different States 55lDe
The rendered diagram is a Statistical presentation which delineate how many honey Produced in millions of Pounds and the numbers of honey manufacturing colonies in five us states in the year 2006. Overall, north dakota had come at the top of the list as the higher honey producing States as well as largest honey collecting colonies. Meanwhile, Wisconsin was the lowest honey producer area and had the least amount of bees colonies among all five States. It s Conspicuous that North Dakota has the highest bees colonies in year 2006 which was amounted for 350 thousands. afterwards Approximately 220 thousands honey collected by South Dakota and there was the second highest amount in diagram. It is apparently seen that proportion for honey collecting colonies in Montana and Minnesota to stay constant in 2006 it was around 130 thousands. Wisconsin had to hit the lowest point for collecting bees colonies just over 50 thousand. It is explicitly observed that there was a surge in number of honey production for North Dakota there was over 25 million of pounds. Subsequently, South Dakota and Montana was remained relatively stable for honey manufacturering roughly 10 millions of pounds. There was a drastic difference between Minnesota and MontanaMontana, it was only 1 million less than Montana. Interestingly, honey collection in Wisconsin a fall in 2006, it was a half amount compared to Minnesota
The rendered diagram is a Statistical presentation which delineate how
Possible agreement error. The noun honey seems to be uncountable; consider using: "much honey", "a good deal of honey".
many honey
Produced in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
millions
of Pounds and the numbers of honey manufacturing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
colonies
in five us states in the year 2006.

Overall
,
If the term is a proper noun, use initial capitals.
north dakota
had
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
at the top of the list as the higher honey producing States
as well
as largest honey collecting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
colonies
. Meanwhile, Wisconsin was the lowest honey producer area and had the least amount of bees
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
colonies
among all five States.
It seems that an apostrophe is missing. Did you mean "It's"?
It s
Conspicuous that North Dakota has the highest bees
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
colonies
in year 2006 which
was amounted
for 350 thousands.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
afterwards
Approximately 220 thousands honey collected by South Dakota and there was the second highest amount in diagram.

It is
apparently
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that proportion for honey collecting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
colonies
in Montana and Minnesota to stay constant in 2006 it was around 130 thousands. Wisconsin had to hit the lowest point for collecting bees
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
colonies
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
over 50 thousand.

It is
explicitly
observed that there was a surge in number of honey production for North Dakota there was over 25
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
million
of pounds.
Subsequently
, South Dakota and Montana
was remained
relatively
stable for honey
Possible spelling mistake found.
manufacturering
roughly 10
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
millions
of pounds. There was a drastic difference between Minnesota and
Possible spelling mistake found.
MontanaMontana
, it was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
1
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
million
less than Montana.
Interestingly
, honey collection in Wisconsin a fall in 2006, it was a half amount compared to Minnesota
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IELTS academic Honey collection in 5 different States

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
227 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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