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Honey bee colonies and their production

Honey bee colonies and their production ArnGL
The charts show information about honey-bee colonies and their production in the US between 1970 and 2010. As we can see in the charts below, 1980 was when the honey-bee colonies were at their highest, where they reached more than 4 million. Between the 1970 and 1980 period, honey-bee production decreased from 130, 000 to 110, 000 tonnes. However, from 1980 to 1990 the territories dropped to be 3. 5 million, whereas their production increased to 120, 000 tonnes. Looking at the 1990 to 2000 period, we can see that the colonies were directly proportional to their production at that time, where the colonies dropped from being 3. 5 million to about more than 2. 5 million, and their production also went down from 120, 000 to 100, 000 tonnes. 2010 was a drastic year, where the honey production drastically fluctuated to 70, 000 tonnes. Generally, we can conclude that over these four decades, honey bee colonies surprisingly fell, which probably was the reason why the production fluctuated.
The charts
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show
information about honey-bee
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colonies
and their
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production
in the US between 1970 and 2010.

As we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
in the charts below, 1980 was when the honey-bee
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
colonies
were at their highest, where they reached more than 4
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
million
. Between the 1970 and 1980 period, honey-bee
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
production
decreased from 130, 000 to 110, 000 tonnes.
However
, from 1980 to 1990 the territories dropped to be 3. 5
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
million
, whereas their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
production
increased to 120, 000 tonnes.

Looking at the 1990 to 2000 period, we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
colonies
were
directly
proportional to their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
production
at that time, where the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
colonies
dropped from being 3. 5
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
million
to about more than 2. 5
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
million
, and their
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production
also
went down from 120, 000 to 100, 000 tonnes. 2010 was a drastic year, where the honey
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
production
drastically
fluctuated to 70, 000 tonnes.

Generally
, we can conclude that over these four decades, honey bee
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
colonies
surprisingly
fell, which
probably
was the reason why the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
production
fluctuated.

IELTS academic Honey bee colonies and their production

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
168 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
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    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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