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Heat Attacks details between 2000 to 2005

Heat Attacks details between 2000 to 2005 RykyW
The bar chart gives information on the number of Americans who experience a heart attack in a year based on their gender and age groups. Overall, males have a significantly higher rate of myocardial infarction, a medical term used for heart attack, than that of females and older Americans are more prone to have heart attacks than young ones. As is presented in the diagram, more than 120 thousand American males between 29 and 44 years get a heart attack while it is scarcely the case among the women of the same age group. The heart attach rate considerably goes higher with the increase of the age and for the Americans over 65 years, this rate is the highest. While over 420 thousand males suffer from this in a year who are middle-aged, it is noticeably lower for women from the same age group. However, Americans over 65 years old suffer from a heart attack the most regardless of their gender and 440 thousand males have had it in a year against the 374 thousand women.
The bar chart gives information on the number of Americans who experience a
heart
attack
in a
year
based on their gender and
age
groups.
Overall
,
males
have a
significantly
higher rate of myocardial infarction, a medical term
used
for
heart
attack
, than that of females and older Americans are more prone to have
heart
attacks
than young ones.

As
is presented
in the diagram, more than 120 thousand American
males
between 29 and 44 years
get
a
heart
attack
while it is
scarcely
the case among the women of the same
age
group. The
heart
attach rate
considerably
goes higher with the increase of the
age
and for the Americans over 65 years, this rate is the highest. While over 420 thousand
males
suffer from this in a
year
who are middle-aged, it is
noticeably
lower for women from the same
age
group.
However
, Americans over 65 years
old
suffer from a
heart
attack
the most regardless of their gender and 440 thousand
males
have had it in a
year
against the 374 thousand women.
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IELTS academic Heat Attacks details between 2000 to 2005

Academic
  American English
2 paragraphs
176 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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