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The number of public transit passengers from 1989 to 2009 and bus tram passenger numbers between 2000 and 2008 in Melbourne

The number of public transit passengers from 1989 to 2009 and bus tram passenger numbers between 2000 and 2008 in Melbourne 2Rk76
The first line graph shows the number of public transit riders from 1989 to 2009, and the second graph indicates the number of bus and tram passengers between 2000 and 2008 in Melbourne. According to the first graph, it is clear that the number of people who ride the public transit has been increased during 20 years. Looking at the graph more closely, one can see that the number of passengers were nearly flat from 1989 to 1994. However, it started to grow up since 1994 and rise rapidly. It reached almost 500 million in 2009 and an upward trend was seen in this graph. In the second graph, it is apparent that the number of bus passengers soared remarkably. The both of number of riders increased during the years, but the tram rider has been declined compared to the bus passengers. Consequently, tram riders soared sharply and the number of bus riders reached the highest point.
The
first
line
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graph
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shows
the
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number
of public transit
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riders
from 1989 to 2009, and the second
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graph
indicates the
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number
of bus and tram
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
passengers
between 2000 and 2008 in Melbourne. According to the
first
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graph
, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who ride the public transit has
been increased
during 20 years. Looking at the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
graph
more
closely
, one can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
passengers
were
nearly
flat from 1989 to 1994.
However
, it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
to grow up since 1994 and rise
rapidly
. It reached almost 500 million in 2009 and an upward trend was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
in this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
graph
. In the second
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
graph
, it is apparent that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of bus
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
passengers
soared
remarkably
. The both of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
riders
increased during the years,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the tram
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rider
has
been declined
compared to the bus
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passengers
.
Consequently
, tram
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riders
soared
sharply
and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of bus
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
riders
reached the highest point.
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IELTS academic The number of public transit passengers from 1989 to 2009 and bus tram passenger numbers between 2000 and 2008 in Melbourne

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
157 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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