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he line graph presents the quantity of students who came from four different states (Indonesia, Hongkong, Malaysia, Singapore) for studying in Australia.

he line graph presents the quantity of students who came from four different states (Indonesia, Hongkong, Malaysia, Singapore) for studying in Australia. e55ep
The line graph presents the quantity of students who came from four different states (Indonesia, Hongkong, Malaysia, Singapore) for studying in Australia. In general, all the features showed an increase. However, inhabitants who arrived from Indonesia rose rapidly throughout the whole time frame. Malaysia, in contrast, experienced the lowest growth over the period given. In the first four years (1982-1986), people from Singapore and Hongkong were not taking education in Australia yet, while at the same period, less than ten thousand Malaysians and a small quantity of Indonesians have been already registered as students in some cities in Australia. Then, in 1992 there was a sharp rise to 10000 students from Hongkong who arrived for education. Around 1994, the number of students from Malaysia and Hong Kong continued to climb quickly and peaked at slightly under twenty thousand before 1998 and showed short fluctuation until 2000. Meanwhile, residents from Indonesia and Singapore who arrived as visitors for education also went up gradually over eight years. From 1994 there was a dramatic growth of Indonesian students in Australia. The proportion was doubled in 1996 and reached a peak of below thirty thousand. Besides, foreigners from Singapore demonstrated a tendency to go up to 20000 in the last period given.
The line graph presents the quantity of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
came from four
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
states (Indonesia,
Possible spelling mistake found.
Hongkong
, Malaysia, Singapore) for studying in Australia.
In general
, all the features
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
an increase.
However
, inhabitants
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
arrived from Indonesia rose
rapidly
throughout the whole time frame. Malaysia,
in contrast
, experienced the lowest growth over the period
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
.

In the
first
four years (1982-1986),
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
from Singapore and
Possible spelling mistake found.
Hongkong
were not taking education in Australia
yet
, while at the same period, less than ten thousand Malaysians and a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
quantity of Indonesians have been already registered as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
cities in Australia. Then, in 1992 there was a sharp rise to 10000
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
from
Possible spelling mistake found.
Hongkong
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
arrived for education. Around 1994, the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
from Malaysia and Hong Kong continued to climb
quickly
and peaked at
slightly
under twenty thousand
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
1998 and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
short fluctuation until 2000.

Meanwhile, residents from Indonesia and Singapore
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
arrived as visitors for education
also
went up
gradually
over eight years. From 1994 there was a dramatic growth of Indonesian
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
in Australia. The proportion
was doubled
in 1996 and reached a peak of below thirty thousand.
Besides
, foreigners from Singapore demonstrated a tendency to go up to 20000 in the last period
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
.
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IELTS academic he line graph presents the quantity of students who came from four different states (Indonesia, Hongkong, Malaysia, Singapore) for studying in Australia.

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
208 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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