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GROWTH OF GAMING INDUSTRY

GROWTH OF GAMING INDUSTRY xD0G6
The above chart acknowledges the growth of various gaming platforms from the year 2000 to 2006. From the above chart, we can clearly interpret that use of console and handheld games are only increasing from year 2000 to 2006. We can the introduction of online games from year 2001 and their ever increasing usage by year 2006. the handheld business progressed from 6 billion industry to 18 billion dollars in just 5 years. Further we can interpret that the console business faced a major decline of more than 4 billion dollars in the gaming industry. Moving onto mobile games, they penetrated the market in 2002 starting from just a billion dollar investment and has been increasing at a slow rate to more than 6 billion in revenue by the year 2006. Online games also created a great impact in the gaming industry after entering the market in 2001 with a few billion dollar investment and has turned into more than 6 billion dollar in revenue by the year 2006.
The above chart acknowledges the growth of various gaming platforms from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
2000 to 2006.

From the above chart, we can
clearly
interpret that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of console and handheld
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games
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
increasing from
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year
2000 to 2006. We can the introduction of online
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games
from
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year
2001 and their
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
ever increasing
usage by
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year
2006.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
the
handheld business progressed from 6
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billion
industry to 18
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billion
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dollars
in
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just
5 years.
Further
we can interpret that the console business faced a major decline of more than 4
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billion
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dollars
in the gaming industry.

Moving onto mobile
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games
, they penetrated the market in 2002 starting from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
a
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billion
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dollar
investment and has been increasing at a slow rate to more than 6
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billion
in revenue by the
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year
2006. Online
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games
also
created a great impact in the gaming industry after entering the market in 2001 with a few
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billion
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dollar
investment and has turned into more than 6
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
billion
Possible agreement error. The noun 'dollar' seems to be countable, so consider using: "dollars".
dollar
in revenue by the
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year
2006.

IELTS academic GROWTH OF GAMING INDUSTRY

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
169 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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