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ground floor of museum 1990 and 2010

ground floor of museum 1990 and 2010 1bWpM
The map illustrates changes to the first floor of museum in 1990 and 2010. Overall, both of history rooms as well as museum office had remained, whilst the ground space underwent significant alternations, especially appearance of a lift which is more accessible for the disabled. It is obvious that entrance along with reception desk had been doubled in size, additionally, reception counter had been moved near the entrance. Furthermore, on the western wing, café and gift shop had been opened and widened in place of gift shop. The lift had been situated at the entrance on the west, which the disabled people could access the upstairs effortlessly instead of only using stairs in 1990. Besides, statue has been transferred to the centre of the museum. In the eastern space, the archaeology gallery had been converted into children’s interactive zone and poster display area.
The map illustrates
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
to the
first
floor of museum in 1990 and 2010.

Overall
, both of history rooms
Probable usage error. Use "and" after 'both'.
as well as
museum office had remained, whilst the ground space underwent significant alternations,
especially
appearance of a lift which is more accessible for the disabled.

It is obvious that entrance along with reception desk had
been doubled
in size,
additionally
, reception counter had been
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
moved
near the entrance.
Furthermore
, on the western wing, café and gift shop had
been opened
and widened in place of gift shop. The lift had
been situated
at the entrance on the west, which the disabled
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
could access the upstairs
effortlessly
instead
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
using stairs in 1990.
Besides
, statue has
been transferred
to the
Possible spelling mistake. 'centre' is British English.
centre
of the museum. In the eastern space, the archaeology gallery had
been converted
into children’s interactive zone and poster display area.
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IELTS academic ground floor of museum 1990 and 2010

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
143 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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