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Graph and bar chart Caribbean island on visitors staying on cruise.

Graph and bar chart Caribbean island on visitors staying on cruise. Y2L7m
The line graph illustrates the number of tourists visiting in a Caribbean island from 2010 to 2017. Conclusion, the visitors staying on cruise ships and visitors staying in island was steady but significant rise over the period, while the percentages of total showed a upward trend. In 2010 number of tourists visiting in a Caribbean island on visitors staying on cruise ships was nearly 0. 5 million and visitors staying on island was approximately 0. 8 million. It was rose significantly 2011 to 2013 which was around 1. 5 million. Besides, the percentage of visitors staying on cruise ships showed a slightly decrease in 2011 to 2012. However, it was increased respectively in 2012 to 2013. Visitors staying on island was steady in 2013 to 2015, but visitors staying on cruise ships climbed significantly in 2015, which was around 1. 5 million. By the end of the period visitors staying on cruise ships showed gradual decrease but visitors staying on island showed upward trend, which was approximately 2 million. In early 2010 total visitors in Caribbean island was 1. 5 million. However, it was showed a rapid growth in 2011 to 2015, which was nearly 2. 8 million in total. But in 2015 to 2016 there was steady growth and at the end of the period it was increased respectively 3. 5 million in total.
The line graph illustrates the number of tourists visiting in a Caribbean
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
island
from 2010 to 2017.

Conclusion, the
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visitors
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staying
on
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cruise
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ships
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visitors
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
staying
in
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island
was steady
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
significant rise over the period, while the percentages of
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total
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
showed
Use "an" instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
a
upward trend.

In 2010 number of tourists visiting in a Caribbean
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island
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visitors
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
staying
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cruise
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ships
was
nearly
0. 5
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
million
and
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visitors
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
staying
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
island
was approximately 0. 8
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million
. It was rose
significantly
2011 to 2013 which was around 1. 5
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
million
.
Besides
, the percentage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visitors
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
staying
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cruise
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ships
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
showed
a
You used an adverb ('slightly') instead of an adjective, or a noun ('decrease') instead of another adjective.
slightly decrease
in 2011 to 2012.
However
, it
was increased
respectively
in 2012 to 2013.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Visitors
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
staying
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
island
was steady in 2013 to 2015,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visitors
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
staying
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cruise
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ships
climbed
significantly
in 2015, which was around 1. 5
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million
. By the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of the period
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visitors
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
staying
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cruise
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ships
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
showed
gradual decrease
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visitors
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
staying
on
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island
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
showed
upward trend, which was approximately 2 million.

In early 2010
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total
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visitors
A determiner is probably missing here: "in the Caribbean".
in Caribbean
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island
was 1. 5
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million
.
However
, it was
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showed
a rapid growth in 2011 to 2015, which was
nearly
2. 8
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
million
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
total
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
in 2015 to 2016 there was steady growth and at the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of the period it
was increased
respectively
3. 5
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
million
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
total
.
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IELTS academic Graph and bar chart Caribbean island on visitors staying on cruise.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
225 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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