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graph about reading books

graph about reading books wxAE3
As can be seen from the chart, the number of books processed by both genders at Starmouth school experienced an upward trend. Additionally, the figure for books reached the peak of 2012 by boys, while the similar happened to girls in 2011. it is shown that staring in 2009 the figures for books read by boys was 20 higher than that of girls ones, which stood 50. Morever, the year 2012 witnessed a significant increase in the number of books read by both sexes. It is noticeable that the quantity of books processed by girls(at 80) was two times as many as that of boys during this period. A year later, both readers experienced the equal quantity of books in reading, standing at 100. Look at the chart in more details, the number of books read by boys increased significantly and reached the peak of 140 in 2012, while the girls went down slightly to 80.
As can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
from the chart, the number of
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books
processed by both genders at
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Starmouth
school experienced an upward trend.
Additionally
, the figure for
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books
reached the peak of 2012 by
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boys
, while the similar happened to girls in 2011.

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
it
is shown
that staring in 2009 the figures for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
read by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
boys
was 20 higher than that of girls ones, which stood 50.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Morever
, the year 2012 witnessed a significant increase in the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
read by both sexes.

It is noticeable that the quantity of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
processed by girls(at 80) was two times as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
as that of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
boys
during this period. A year later, both readers experienced the equal quantity of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
in reading, standing at 100.

Look at the chart in more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
, the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
read by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
boys
increased
significantly
and reached the peak of 140 in 2012, while the girls went down
slightly
to 80.
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IELTS academic graph about reading books

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
156 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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