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Graph about numbers of university graduates in Canada from 1992 to 2007

Graph about numbers of university graduates in Canada from 1992 to 2007 5kX5V
The graph illustrates the figure of university female and male graduates in Canada for over the period of 16 years from 1992 to 2007. Overall, what stand out of the graph is the numbers of female graduates in Canada were immensely high when compared to male graduates all through the given span of year. Looking to the year 1992, female graduates were on the hike of nearly 99000. Whereas males were in a steep decrease of nearly 71000. However, both female and male graduates had an increase in number in the year between 1994 and 1996 (approx. 105000 and 75000 respectively). While by the term 1998 both female and male graduates had a fall in the number (about 99000 and 69000 respectively). Nevertheless, by the end of the period 2006 female and male graduates had a steady increase (approx. 148000 and 98000 respectively). To summarize, the numbers female graduates were higher than male graduates in universities in Canada throughout the given years. The number of female participants was the most, which remained the increased growth from 1992 to 1994 and between 2000 and 2006. With men, the figure flattened the slowly increase and fluctuation since 1992 to 2000 and it merely had a small outbreak between 2000 and 2006
The graph illustrates the figure of university
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
female
and male
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
graduates
in Canada for over the period of 16 years from 1992 to 2007.

Overall
, what stand out of the graph is the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
numbers
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
female
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
graduates
in Canada were
immensely
high when compared to male
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
graduates
all through the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
span of year.

Looking to the
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year
1992,
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female
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
graduates
were on the hike of
nearly
99000.
“Whereas” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Whereas
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males
were in a steep decrease of
nearly
71000.
However
, both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
female
and male
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
graduates
had an increase in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
between 1994 and 1996 (approx. 105000 and 75000
respectively
). While by the term 1998 both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
female
and male
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
graduates
had a fall in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
(about 99000 and 69000
respectively
).
Nevertheless
, by the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of the period 2006
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
female
and male
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
graduates
had a steady increase (approx. 148000 and 98000
respectively
).

To summarize
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
numbers
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
female
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
graduates
were higher than male
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
graduates
in universities in Canada throughout the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
years. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
female
participants was the most, which remained the increased growth from 1992 to 1994 and between 2000 and 2006. With
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
, the figure flattened the
slowly
increase and fluctuation since 1992 to 2000 and it
merely
had a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
outbreak between 2000 and 2006
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IELTS academic Graph about numbers of university graduates in Canada from 1992 to 2007

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
208 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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