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Grandparents take care to their children when parents out from home at work .. Do you think advantages are more than disadvantages? ..

Grandparents take care to their children when parents out from home at work. . Do you think advantages are more than disadvantages? . . Eql9q
Grandparents take care of their offsprings when parents out from home at their jobs. I think there are more advantages than disadvantages. To commence with the view, grandparents spend time and take care of children when parents of children are not at home because of their work have advantage for parents that they don’t have to worry about their child. Parents can do their job without any tension for their babies as there are grandparents available at home for taking care of their babies. Further strengthening my view, when parents go to work they have to leave their children at home. Due to this children get enough time to spend with their grandparents. In this time, they learn about moral values of life from their grandparents which enables a child to gain good habits and more knowledge about how they have to behave with others. As a result they become sincere. Also, grandparents at home don’t feel alone as now they have babies with whom they are spending time by telling them about their past life and some old trandition which help children to stay connected with their transitional life. In conclusion, It can be seen that bonding of children with their grandparents becoming stronge. Every child in the world should have grandparents especially for those, whom parents are too busy with their work.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Grandparents
take care of their
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "offspring", the plural form of the noun 'offspring'?
offsprings
when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
out from home at their jobs. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
there are more advantages than disadvantages. To commence with the view,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
grandparents
spend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
and take care of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are not at home
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of their work have advantage for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
that they don’t
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
worry about their child.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Parents
can do their job without any tension for their babies as there are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
grandparents
available at home for taking care of their babies.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Further
strengthening my view, when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
go to work they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
at home. Due to
Did you mean "these"?
this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to spend with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
grandparents
. In this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
, they learn about moral values of life from their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
grandparents
which enables a child to gain
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
habits and more knowledge about how they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
behave with others.
“As” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
As
a result they become sincere.
Also
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
grandparents
at home don’t feel alone as
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
they have babies with whom they are spending
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
by telling them about their past life and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
Possible spelling mistake found.
trandition
which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to stay connected with their transitional life.
In conclusion
, It can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that bonding of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
grandparents
becoming
Possible spelling mistake found.
stronge
. Every child in the world should have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
grandparents
especially
for those, whom
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
are too busy with their work.
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IELTS academic Grandparents take care to their children when parents out from home at work. . Do you think advantages are more than disadvantages? . .

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
224 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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