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global mobile phones brand writing

global mobile phones brand writing 2xDko
The bar chart illustrates the top five best selling mobile phone brands over a period of 4 years. Which include Samsung, Apple, Nokia, LG and ZTE. In 2009 the number of phones sold in Samsung was over 230 million with Nokia having the highest rate with almost 430 million phones sold. However, Nokia’s phone sale’s dramatically dropped in 2013 with Samsung sale’s doubled the amount it had before. It can be seen that Apple and LG both had different changes. The total amount of trade for Apple slightly rose, unlike LG was depreciating. Apple saw a considerable rise with over 150 units, so as ZTE’s sales slightly increasing over a period of time. To sum up everything that has been stated so far, the disposal for Samsung, ZTE and Apple has been increasing over a period of time, while sales for Nokia and LG reduced.
The bar chart illustrates the top five
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
best selling
mobile
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phone
brands
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over
a period of 4 years. Which include Samsung,
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Apple
, Nokia, LG and
Possible spelling mistake found.
ZTE
.

In 2009 the number of
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phones
sold in Samsung was
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
over
230 million with Nokia having the highest rate with almost 430 million
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phones
sold.
However
, Nokia’s
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phone
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sale’s
dramatically
dropped in 2013 with Samsung
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sale’s
doubled the amount it had
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
.

It can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that
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Apple
and LG both had
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
. The total amount of trade for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Apple
slightly
rose, unlike LG was depreciating.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Apple
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
saw
a considerable rise with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
over
150 units,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
as
Possible spelling mistake found.
ZTE
’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sales
slightly
increasing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
over
a period of time.

To sum up everything that has
been stated
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
far, the disposal for Samsung,
Possible spelling mistake found.
ZTE
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Apple
has been increasing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
over
a period of time, while
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sales
for Nokia and LG
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
.
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IELTS academic global mobile phones brand writing

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
145 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
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