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Given in the pie charts is the employment data recorded in two towns, lettered A and B, according to three different professions/ lines of work in two years 1960 and 2010.

Given in the pie charts is the employment data recorded in two towns, lettered A and B, according to three different professions/ lines of work in two years 1960 and 2010. 7WLRA
Given in the pie charts is the employment data recorded in two towns, lettered A and B, according to three different professions/ lines of work in two years 1960 and 2010. As can be inferred from the charts, while the manufacturing field in both towns registered an upward progression, their number of salespeople declined. Meanwhile, the data regarding servicing in these two towns reversed each other. Another key feature is that more people in town A switched/ hopped to manufacturing, whereas the majority of B townspeople still favored sales. At the outset of the survey, the rate of service workers in town A constituted 30%, which then somewhat halved by 2010. The same was seen in sales employment of this town, comprising 20% in 2010. An opposite upward trend was displayed in manufacturing, with figures slightly more than doubling during the survey. In town B, despite seeing a decline of 18%, the rate of salespeople here was still dominant. Conversely, an uptrend was witnessed in the remaining fields, albeit with different degrees: 2% more people worked in servicing and the employment rate in manufacturing tripled its original level.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Given
in the pie charts is the employment data recorded in two
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
towns
, lettered A and B, according to three
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
professions/ lines of work in two years 1960 and 2010.

As can
be inferred
from the charts, while the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
manufacturing
field in both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
towns
registered an upward progression, their number of salespeople declined. Meanwhile, the data regarding servicing in these two
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
towns
reversed each other. Another key feature is that more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
town
A switched/ hopped to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
manufacturing
, whereas the majority of B townspeople
still
favored sales.

At the outset of the survey, the rate of service workers in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
town
A constituted 30%, which then somewhat halved by 2010. The same was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
in sales employment of this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
town
, comprising 20% in 2010. An opposite upward trend
was displayed
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
manufacturing
, with figures
slightly
more than doubling during the survey.

In
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
town
B, despite seeing a decline of 18%, the rate of salespeople here was
still
dominant.
Conversely
, an uptrend
was witnessed
in the remaining fields, albeit with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
degrees: 2% more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
worked in servicing and the employment rate in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
manufacturing
tripled its original level.
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IELTS academic Given in the pie charts is the employment data recorded in two towns, lettered A and B, according to three different professions/ lines of work in two years 1960 and 2010.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
188 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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