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Five kinds of books sold by seller in the year 1972 and 2012. give your views

Five kinds of books sold by seller in the year 1972 and 2012. give your views e5APx
The bar chart illustrates housing preferences of British people's in three different cities of London, Oxford and Cambridge in the year 2005. Data is calibrated in percentage. Overall, In London and Oxford cities, maximum number of people's like to live in flats as compared to other cities. But in Cambridge people liked Detached houses to stay. Rest two houses, Terraced house and Semi-detached house were least preferable by the British citizens. In the year 2012, In London, flats liked by people as a living place accounted for 60% and which was twofold that of Oxford and threefold that of Cambridge people's. The remaining house percentage has been just below 20% in London. However, in Oxford, there was a slight difference in the percentage of Flats, Detached and Semi-detached house and its preferable percentage was below 30% in the year 2012. In all cities of UK, below 20% people like to live in Terraced house. Detached Houses were very popular among the Cambridge pupils with the percentage of 35 and only 10% people's in London like to stay in this kind of house. Only 30% people's in both Oxford and Cambridge city liked to settle on the Semi-Detached house.
The bar chart illustrates housing preferences of British
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people's
in three
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
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cities
of London,
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Oxford
and Cambridge in the year 2005. Data
is calibrated
in percentage.

Overall
, In London and
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Oxford
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cities
, maximum number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people's
like to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in flats as compared to other
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cities
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
in Cambridge
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
liked Detached
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houses
to stay. Rest two
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houses
, Terraced
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house
and Semi-detached
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house
were
A determiner is probably missing here: "the least".
least
preferable by the British citizens.

In the year 2012, In London, flats liked by
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
as a living place accounted for 60% and which was twofold that of
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Oxford
and threefold that of Cambridge
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people's
. The remaining
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house
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percentage
has been
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
below 20% in London.
However
, in
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Oxford
, there was a slight difference in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percentage
of Flats, Detached and Semi-detached
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house
and its preferable
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percentage
was below 30% in the year 2012.

In all
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cities
of UK, below 20%
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
like to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in Terraced
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
house
. Detached
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Houses
were
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
popular among the Cambridge pupils with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percentage
of 35 and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
10%
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people's
in London like to stay in this kind of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
house
.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Only
30%
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people's
in both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Oxford
and Cambridge city liked to settle on the Semi-Detached
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
house
.
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IELTS academic Five kinds of books sold by seller in the year 1972 and 2012. give your views

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
198 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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